The Love that Binds
by ankaz123
Summary: Jackson and April come to realise and admit their true feelings for one another. What's happens afterwards probably wasn't in their plans! Post 9x09
1. Chapter 1

**First Japril fic…new to this fandom, but I love them together. Please enjoy and remember to review! **

Chapter 1:

"Alright Mr Walters" April smiled encouragingly. "Your incisions are healing nicely with no signs of infection. I think you can be discharged today!" she beamed at the middle aged man lying in the hospital bed and his wife standing nearby.

"Thank you so much Dr Kepner!" the wife, Helen sighed gratefully, coming over and giving the ginger haired doctor a tight hug. April smiled tightly and nodded.

"No worries" she replied politely. "I'll have a nurse bring around the discharge papers and run through the discharge procedure with you. Take care of yourselves".

With a small polite wave, she exited the room with her two interns hot on her heels. She still had two more surgeries to get through today. Another appendectomy and a gall bladder removal. She knew the interns would be fighting tooth and nail to get in on either of the procedures. She smiled inwardly as she walked confidently down the hall way to the nurses' station. It felt _good_ to hold the power.

…

Jackson Avery watched silently as he watched April walk down the hall. Her wavy red hair bouncing as she walked, a small, confident smile on her lips, shoulders back….what did she have to be happy about? They hadn't spoken since Bailey's almost wedding. Then again, he had been busy with his date. Who knew interns could actually be interesting? Stephanie had been a welcome distraction from his troubles with April. Could they even be classified as 'troubles'? They weren't together….they had _never_ publicly been _together_. He didn't even know what they had been. Sex buddies? The occasional on call room hook up? The relief of pent up sexual tension? It burned him not knowing! He hated it. What's worse was that he _did_ feel something for her. It wasn't _love_ per say….but it was enough to make him boil at the sight of her with that intern Shane. Hearing her laughing at his jokes…smiling at him….tucking her hair shyly behind her ear. It was enough to ask her to marry him during the whole pregnancy scare. So after one too many champagnes at Bailey's non-wedding reception, he took Stephanie to him car and one thing led to another.

He hated himself for it. He never saw Stephanie as anything more than a colleague…..an intern he outranked. He didn't mean to lead her on. He had told himself he would never stoop to Karev's level and sleep around with interns. So the morning after, he told himself it was the champagne which resulted in his actions. He quickly set Stephanie straight. "It was the alcohol….I'm your boss….we work together….this is an awkward situation…I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm not that into you etc etc etc". It turned out ok. The intern seemed hurt at first, but then nodded in agreement and was on her way. They had mutually agreed to keep the night between themselves.

It was a week after the almost wedding and Jackson's one night stand and the guilt was weighing down his conscious like a ten tonne anchor. Luckily he and April didn't get any cases together in the last week and were mainly avoiding each other at the hospital. Their different work schedules meant they didn't see much of each other at the apartment. If they did, polite smiles and awkward small talk usually filled the air.

So instead, he sat at the nearby nurses' computer and watched her. He was desperate to talk to her. To explain everything. To feel her soft ivory skin under his fingertips. To stroke her soft ginger hair. To look into her brown eyes. To kiss her gentle lips. The desperation burned his insides with desire. Did she feel the same way? He just couldn't tell.

…

"What was he like?" Jo murmured softly to her closest friend, Stephanie as they stood waiting for Dr Kepner to finish talking to the nurse.

Stephanie smiled slyly "freakin' amazing", she replied in an excitable whisper. "You would think that all the rumours and those_ eyes_ were overrated, but _no_! He's just as fantastic as they say".

"I honestly can't believe that you got lucky with Dr _Avery_!" Jo whispered to her with a grin.

"Shhh!" Stephanie reprimanded her friend, rolling her eyes in April's direction. Jo's eyes widened in recognition. Everybody knew that Kepner and Avery had it in for each other. What exactly, nobody knew. But there were feelings lingering.

It didn't matter anyway because April caught the last two sentences the interns had exchanged and immediately her heart sank. She could feel tears welling in her eyes and she felt as if somebody had just punched her in the abdomen. She glanced down at her charts and froze, staring at them emptily. Jackson…sleeping with someone else. She really had been forgotten. All that stuff he told her. About getting married, about children….it was all out of _duty_. He didn't care about her. She felt so incredibly stupid for loving him.

"Dr Kepner?" Jo asked carefully, sensing the change in the attending's demeanour.

April sighed heavily and spun around quickly to face her interns. She gave them both her dirtiest stare, extra dirty in Stephanie's direction.

"You two" she barked. The two interns immediately stood a little straighter. Kepner meant business. "I want all my post ops for today done. Check everything. Twice. I want you to chase up Mr Willington's labs and then go tell Pathology to hurry up with the results of Mrs Prasad's MRI and CT. Go over my pre-op for the appendectomy, then make sure Dr Robbins is across everything with my paediatric patients, especially Charley from 2239 because I've got her surgery tomorrow. The gall bladder patient in 3356 has been complaining of severe discomfort so make sure he's been taken care of. Got it?" she demanded heatedly.

The two interns nodded furiously before walked away quickly. April sighed heavily in defeat, sighing off her last charts before walking quickly into the nearest on-call room. She made sure it was empty before she flopped down onto the nearest bunk, face down. She buried her face into the pillow and let out a muffled scream. She didn't want to cry. She wanted to scream in anger. How could she be so stupid? How could she hold onto these stupid lingering feelings for Jackson after he had clearly spelled out they didn't have a relationship or a future? Part of her still hated herself for allowing him to take her virginity. For giving it to him. She yearned to feel his chiselled body and his look into his gorgeous eyes. There was nobody else for her. Half the doctors at Seattle Grace either didn't respect her or simply didn't know her. Jackson was her oldest friend still left with her. She hated what the whole situation had done to their friendship. She the awkwardness and the silence and the weirdness. She just wanted to go back to what they hated. The laughing and the jokes. How he would stand up for her and offer a shoulder of support when things got tough. She desperately wanted that back. So much that she let out another muffled scream into the pillow.

Suddenly a soft knock on the door made April jump in surprise. "April?" a lowered voice asked.

"Come in" she replied, sitting up straighter on the bed and fixing up her ruffled auburn hair. She could have almost had a heart attack when she saw Jackson step into the room, a shy awkward smile on his face.

"You ok?" he asked. The concern was evident in his clear blue eyes and it caught April a little of guard. She always melted for those eyes.

"Yep" she smiled a little _too_ brightly. Jackson immediately knew it was a lie. She lifted an awkward hand and smoothed her frizzy hair, glancing down at the floor in an attempt to avoid eye contact with him.

"It's just that…" he walked closer towards her. "I heard sounds coming from in here. Were you crying?"

"No!" she exclaimed defensively. "I just…." she sighed deeply fumbling with her fingers. "Needed a moment. Been a long day".

"April I…." he started, glancing at her longingly. "We need to talk about….._us"_.

"So talk" she replied shrugging her shoulders. She was sick of his indirectness. She just wanted everything out in the open and she wanted _him_ to make the first move. Better him than her…she would probably just burst out into tears and blubbering words.

"I just want to clear up everything. To know where we stand with each other", Jackson explained to her, pulling up a chair directly opposite her.

"I know where _you_ stand" she told him indignantly. "Or should I say_ lie_…apparently it's with interns!" she exclaimed. Jackson couldn't mistake the hurt in her tone. He hated hurting her. Sighing as he rubbed his face with his hands he glanced at her and unmistakably saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"You heard huh?" he asked gently.

"_She_ had no problem bragging about it to her friends" April retorted, crossing her arms defensively.

Jackson made a mental note to reprimand Stephanie later on about that. Right now, he had to fix this.

"April, please listen" he pleaded. "That…_night_ with Edwards…it was a total mistake…..we were drunk….I guess I was still hurting about…you know…"

"So it's my fault now?" April demanded furiously, her voice rising.

"No of course not" Jackson raised his hands defensively. "I'm just saying that Edwards was there in the moment and one thing led to another. It meant nothing. I felt terrible about it immediately….and I set Edwards straight about it. There is nothing happening between us two. There never will be". Jackson tempted fate by reaching out and placing his hand gently on top of April's. She noticed immediately and shook him off, standing up and walking across the room. Jackson mirrored her and stood too, facing her but remaining near the bed.

"So what now?" April asked, her body beginning to tremble. Jackson wanted nothing more than to walk over and embrace her. To take her in his arms and make love to her there and then. To prove his feelings for her. "Why are you telling me this? We're separate people Jackson, I don't need to know the details of your personal life and affairs with staff" she told him wryly, wrapping her arms around herself.

"April…" he took a step closer. "I think you know the answer to that question", he smiled knowingly. His bright eyes were enough to make her melt slightly.

"I know" she mumbled, glancing down at the ground for a second before her brown eyes met his blue and they locked gazes. "I want to hear you say it", she whispered gently, a single tear rolling down her ivory cheek.

How he wanted to reach out and wipe it away! He took a step closer, still smiling.

"Say it!" April repeated quietly, warningly.

"April…" he took another step….reaching out…. "I" a step "love" another step "you" he stopped arm's length away from her and grinned. It felts amazing to say those three words out loud. She allowed the tears to run freely and soon she was crying.

"Are you ok?" he asked, leaning down to gaze into her eyes. She glanced up and nodded before flinging herself into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. She stood on her tip toes and leaned up so that her lips reached his ears.

"I love you too" she whispered into his ear with a grin.

That was the trigger. Before she could react, Jackson had turned and clicked the door locked and returned to pick her up from the ground and leading her to the nearby bed where only a few minutes earlier she had been screaming silently.

….

**Enjoy! Merry Christmas! **

**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N not too familiar with all this medical jargon so please forgive me. Please remember to review. I'm so touched by the amount of reviews I got on the first chapter. It means the world! **

Chapter 2:

The sharp beeping of her pager woke April up with a start. She jumped from the bed and hastily began to dress herself. "_911 E.R"_ her pager told her with another sharp beep. Jackson groggily woke up too, watching with confusion as April rushed around the on call room collecting her belongings.

"What's happened?" he asked, rubbing his eyes, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm being paged" she explained breathlessly, throwing on her lab coat. "Trauma incoming, Hunt wants me down there".

"You're so sexy when you're flustered" he smiled slyly, watching her tie up her hair in the small mirror. She glanced behind her shoulder at him through the mirror. He was still naked under the sheets, the top of his torso uncovered. His bright smile and blue eyes….. It took all her willpower not to go back to him.

"Shut up" she quipped back, grabbing her pager from the bedside table and stuffing it in her pocket before leaning down until she was face to face with him, their mouths only inches apart.

"You better get dressed" she told him with a smile. "We're still on shift".

"I don't think what we just did was in the job description" he replied cheekily, sitting up.

"I think it could be part of 'other duties'" she grinned, leaning forward and kissing him deeply on the lips. She broke away a little too soon as her pager went off again. She groaned inwardly and made for the door, leaving Jackson hanging.

"I'll see you later" she told him brightly, grabbing his scrub pants and chucking them at his face. He caught them with a knowing grin and nodded. "We'll continue this later" he called after her.

April walked down the corridor towards the elevator with an impenetrable smile on her face. Nothing could bring her down now.

….

The elevator gave a light _ping_ as the doors opened and April stepped quickly out into the E.R. She immediately found Dr Hunt as he rushed towards the ambulance entrance.

"Kepner", he barked as he saw her. "Good of you to join us", he snapped pulling on his trauma gown.

"I'm sorry…" April began with a flush of embarrassment.

"Save it", he stopped her with a hand. "We've got ambulances on their way. Four car pile-up on the expressway. Sounded pretty messy. Multiple head and internal injuries in the field. We've got reports of children too so be prepared, we might lose some today. You're gonna help me in the trauma rooms. Get one of your interns to round up any available attending or residents to assist".

April nodded briskly and ran back into the ER where Jo was waiting for her anxiously. "I heard about the crash" she said quietly. "All those poor people…."

"Snap out of it Wilson!" April told her sharply. "Page Dr Yang if she not in surgery and then page Dr Karev, tell him we've got multiple paediatric trauma's coming in. Oh and get Avery….I think we'll have plenty of facial lacerations for him to look after" she didn't give her intern another glance as she briskly walked back out to the ambulance bay. The sirens become louder as a stream of ambulances began to approach. The first one stopped at April's feet and seconds later the back doors burst open.

"27 year old female teacher front seat passenger got side swiped by a car. Drifting in and out of consciousness. Broken ulna and clavicle and suspected internal damage…she's got some dark bruising on the abdomen".

"Trauma room 1" April instructed, pointing the officers inside the door where a sea of residents and attendings were waiting to fight for the best cases.

"What's going on here" Hunt demanded to the first ambulance officer who jumped out. He pointed back to the 8 or so ambulances waiting in line. April felt her stomach sink in dread and fear. What had happened. This couldn't be a simple multi car pile-up.

"One of the vehicles was a mini bus on a field trip from an elementary school", the driver explained, closing the doors of the ambulance and walking back to the driver's seat. "There were 30 or so kids".

"Jesus Christ", Owen sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I'll get on the phone" April interrupted sharply. "I'll tell them to send us the kids and divert patients from the other cars to nearby hospitals".

"Good thinking Kepner" Owen nodded in agreement. He was grateful April had interjected because he was completely stunned at that moment. "Any kids who can walk or aren't critical can also be diverted. I'll page Robbins!" he shouted, running back inside as the ambulances continued to pull up.

"Trauma 2" April instructed the two ambulance officers as soon as they exited. There was a little girl on the gurney….she couldn't have been more than 6 years old. Her blonde hair tied in a braid. The oxygen mask covered almost all her face, she was that small. April fought to hold back the tears. There were more children to come.

…

April sighed wearily to herself as she sighed off on the last chart. "Continue to monitor all the patients vitals. If anything happens…page an attending immediately", April instructed the group of 6 interns firmly. What a day! Nine hours later and they had lost 7 people. Five children were gone. Their injuries just too critical for their tiny, innocent bodies to withstand. Some died in the ER while some arrested on the table and couldn't be revived. April herself was operating on a ruptured spleen of a 7 year old boy when he arrested. The shock of the whole thing too much for his little body. Watching those vitals drop….it was the worst feeling she'd felt in a long while. Five young, innocent lives…gone, forever.

She left the chart and decided to go up to the paediatric floor to see how the little blonde girl was faring….she was the first one to arrive and April had been so grateful to hear she'd pulled through. Only some breaks and fractures. Painful, but she'd pull through. She stepped into the empty elevator and pressed her back against the wall, leaning her head back. She looked up at the bright fluorescent lights of the elevator and prayed a silent prayer to God. So that He would look after those children in Heaven. The elevator opened and she stepped out. The paediatric floor always made her smile. The nurses wore coloured scrubs and there were drawings of animals, flowers, cars everywhere! It was a place of joy.

She quickly found the girls room and looked in on her. A woman, obviously her mother was sitting in the armchair, sleeping, her hand on her daughters smaller one. April looked at the chart. Her name was Juliet, she was six year old. Diagnosis: broken left radius and ulna, fractured ribs and broken right tibia and fibula. All set in surgery by Dr Torres. April felt pity for the poor girl. It was a painful experience having only one bone broken, but five? She was too young to go through this! April stood outside the glass door, looking in on the girl as she slept. She didn't know why she was doing it. Maybe because by looking at this girl who had survived, she could forget about all those who'd died. She leaned her body against a nearby pillar and continued to look in, a sad smile on her lips.

She was lost in her train of thoughts that she didn't even see Jackson come up behind her, gently resting his hands on her hips. In public, their affection couldn't be obvious.

"Hey" he whispered into her ear. "How are you? I heard you lost some patients today" he asked worryingly.

She nodded sadly and continued to look in on Juliet. "She seems to peaceful" she told him blankly "look at her sleeping. You would never think that she's just been involved in a major car crash. That she's broken two limbs and that she's got months of recovery ahead. You would never think that", Jackson could hear the sadness and tears in her voice. One of the things he loved about her was a enormous concern for others. He leant down so that his head was lightly resting on top of her auburn hair. The floor was almost empty so he felt safe to make the affectionate gesture.

"She's gonna be ok" he reassured her. "She's probably got a fantastic family who will be supporting her through this. She's got her whole life ahead of her".

April didn't respond, making Jackson grow more concerned.

"Hey" he said softly, spinning her around to face him. He cupped her face in his hands and smiled lovingly. Their eyes locking. "You know it's part of the job" he told her gently. "We lose patients, we save patients. It's different for everybody. We're not miracle workers April….we're not _God_".

April looked up at him dejectedly. She knew he was right. He had a point. But it still didn't take away the pain. Losing patients was always terrible, but children were even worse. She nodded and allowed herself to lean into his chest. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a tight, warm embrace.

"It'll be ok" he reassured her. "You did what you could".

"I just need to sleep" she replied quietly. She wanted to lie somewhere and not get up for like a day or two.

"Ok" he nodded in agreement. It had been a long day for him too. He'd had two surgeries before the trauma and then he had to look after a bucket load of facial and body lac's. He was exhausted. "I'll take you home" he put his arm around her shoulder and led her to the elevator.

…..

April used her key to open the front door of their apartment. She dumped her bag on the nearby table and shrugged off her winter coat. Jackson followed soon behind her. April didn't look back, heading straight for her bedroom. Jackson froze, it was the first time they were together in their apartment since their profession of mutual love. He wasn't sure what the status quo was at home. Give her space or let her be? It had been a long, overwhelming day for her. He knew she needed to rest and didn't want to bombard her. He sat awkwardly on the couch and turned on the TV, waiting for her to make the first move. It didn't take long.

"Jackson?", she called from her bedroom. He quickly stood and walked over to her. She was standing outside her chest of drawers in her pyjama shorts and t-shirt. Damn she looked hot.

"What are you doing?", she asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I'm just….", he stumbled, unable to take his eyes off her body. "I wasn't sure what you wanted", he told her sheepishly.

"And today didn't clear anything up?", she asked him with a grin.

"Oh it did!" he stepped closer towards her and she mirrored his actions. He grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. She gave a small squeal of delight, hitting his chest playfully.

"It's been a long day", she sighed deeply, resting her forehead on his warm chest. Listening calmly to the sound of his heart beating.

"Yeah it has" he agreed, planting a gentle kiss on top of her head.

"Stay with me tonight?" she asked, looking at him with both sadness, but also longing. She wanted comforting,

"Oh course" he nodded as she lead him towards her bed.

….

**Not much action I know, but its Grey's so gotta have some kind of medical drama in there too. Please stick around and remember to review! **

**Just to keep you interested: pregnancy scare(?) coming up soon! **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

**A/N I've decided to lay off on the pregnancy scare for another couple of chapters. Doesn't mean it's not coming….just not for a while…I'm hoping to get you when you least expect it. **

…**.**

April woke slowly, stretching out her limbs and sighing contently before opening her eyes. She instantly smiled at the sight of the man next to her. Jackson lay wide awake on his side, smiling adoringly down at her as she lay on her back. April's eyes couldn't help but wonder down and settle on his naked torso, below his hips covered only by the bed sheet they shared. She swallowed awkwardly and returned his smile shyly. She would probably never get used to _this_.

"Morning", he continued to smile at her. "You're so beautiful when you sleep", he told her, pushing back a few stray locks of her hair behind her ear. She brought the sheet up higher over herself and she lay frozen next to him, beginning to feel the redness begin to show in her cheeks.

"Sleep well?", was all she could muster. She couldn't even bring herself to maintain eye contact. She looked at him, staring at his cheeks as he spoke.

"April", he chuckled, "last night was fantastic", he leaned in closer. "You're fantastic", he kissed her on the lips, his other hand caressing her cheek.

They were interrupted suddenly by the sound of a pager beeping sharply. April felt a wave of relief in her stomach as she rose from the bed, wrapping the sheet around herself as she went. "It's yours", she informed him, gently throwing him the pager. He caught it and glanced at the small screen.

"911 for the Pit", he groaned, rising from the bed and gathering the clothes scattered around the room after their wild love-making session the previous night. Before April even had a chance to turn around, he was half dressed and quickly throwing on his shirt.

"What time does your shift start", he asked, beginning to put on his sneakers.

"Midday", she answered nonchalantly, trying to maintain calm. The events of the previous night were running through her head at a million miles an hour. He nodded, walking over to her, smiling, his blue eyes sparkling with happiness.

"I'll see you at the hospital", he beamed, taking both her cheeks in his hands and kissing her passionately. April allowed her inhibitions go in that moment. Jackson had a way to melt her. As he walked out of the room, April pulled the sheet tighter around her and collapsed onto the bed, lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling in panic.

She loved him. She knew that for sure. But the whole virginity thing had meant a lot to her. Every time she and Jackson had sex, the guilt returned to eat her alive. She hated it, but she couldn't stop believing in her religion. He probably hadn't picked up on her discomfort this morning, but he was bound to catch on soon.

Suddenly her thoughts returned to Juliet, her patient from yesterday. That little girl was only 6 years old and she's already experienced everything life had to throw at her. Then it hit her! She needed to let all that guilt and awkwardness go! Jackson clearly adored her. Was willing to go to the moon and back for her. He was already there. She just had to meet him halfway. She loved him- that was clear. She sighed contently at her decision and sat up. Setting her alarm clock, she settled back into bed for a few extra hours sleep before her shift began.

…..

Jackson bit into his chicken and salad sandwich as he sat in the cafeteria with Yang and Meredith. He sat quietly as the two women discussed their patient problems, seemingly oblivious to the plastics fellow sitting with them. He spotted April entering the cafeteria and smiled, willing her with his mind to glance in his direction. She did. Her face instantly lit up with her usual bright smile as she spotted him across the large room. She placed some food on her tray, paid and walked over to the table. Sitting down next to him, she leaned in and gently bumped his shoulder with his.

"Hey", she grinned.

"Hey yourself", he returned the smile, his body remained close to hers, but only slightly. Enough for her and notice and to feel him. She smiled inwardly to herself. She liked it.

"Stop it you too", Cristina rolled her eyes, sipping her water through a straw. "Just get a room already".

April blushed and looked embarrassingly at the food in front of her. Jackson only gave her a glare that spoke volumes.

Meredith smiled compassionately. She'd really grown to like April. Underneath the annoying perkiness and high pitched voice was a truly kind and talented surgeon. She respected April. "Don't worry about her", Meredith told April with a shrug. "She's just pissed because her patient turned out to be non-surgical".

"It was gonna be such a kick ass surgery", Cristina whined to the table. "Stupid man…why did he have to go get better!", she exclaimed.

April supressed an answer to that because she realised it was supposed to be rhetorical. She began to eat her pasta salad with a small smile on her face. She was actually really glad with the way her life was going at the moment. She'd finally found a man who she loved and trusted. She was gaining the respect of her colleagues and making true, worthwhile friends. Sure, she'd failed her Boards, but it was just a stupid test she could take next year. She was truly content with her life.

Her pager's sharp beeping brought her out of her daydream and she stood up. "Crap!" she swore to herself as she glanced at the screen. "Crap! Crap! Crap!" she mumbled to herself.

"What is it?", Jackson asked worryingly. April didn't even reply as she grabbed her lab coat and ran out of the cafeteria. Maybe not everything was going quite according to plan…

…..

She rushed out of the elevator onto the Paediatric floor towards the room she knew too well. Arizona greeted her with a stern grimace.

"What's going on?", April demanded rushing inside the room as the machines around them were beeping profusely. A bunch of nurses were rushing around following Arizona's instructions. The small girl in the bed lay innocently, her eyes closed, oblivious to what was happening to her.

"You asked to be kept informed?", Robbins asked.

April nodded in reply, going to the girls side to assist.

"One of her fractures has become infected. She's septic. She's need surgery. Page Torres and meet me up there", Arizona instructed sharply, taking the brake off the bed and beginning to push the gurney out of the room followed by nurses.

April nodded in agreement and rushed out to the nurses' station watching grimly as Juliet was wheeled out down the hall. As she picked up the phone receiver to page Torres, her heart sank with sadness. She knew the chances for a such a young child weren't very strong. The death of child never sat well with a surgeon- no matter how many adults they saved.

….

The elevator doors opened and April found herself face to face with a young man. Probably no older than 25. He gave her a polite smile when she glanced at him, which she returned mindlessly. He was leaning casually against the back wall of the elevator, his hands stuffed in his coat pockets. If her mind wasn't with Juliet, it probably would've crossed her mind that he was kinda cute. Not Jackson cute…but cute enough. She pressed the button and stood in front of the man, her eyes staring blankly ahead of her.

"Having a good day?", the man asked her randomly. She looked at him over her shoulder with a small smile.

"Yeah it's been ok", the standard response. She had to show him she wasn't interested. Then it hit her. This was a staff elevator. He wasn't a doctor or nurse. He shouldn't be in here. Panic flashed through her system as her mind crossed back to memories of the shooting.

The gun.

The BANG.

Gary Clark.

Doctor Shepherd.

Reed.

The blood.

The blood. The blood. The blood.

Those flashes were quickly replaced with flashes of intense, excruciating pain as the young man drove a knife through her lower back. She fell to the ground in a heap on her side. The elevator doors pinged and the man stepped casually out onto a dark, empty floor.

"Your day is about to get a whole lot worse", he turned, looked down at her, smiling menacingly before walking away.

….

**Thought I'd leave you with a tiny insy bitsy cliffhanger over New Years. I look forward to writing more in 2013! **

**Best wishes to all my readers/followers/reviewers for a fantastic 2013 filled with much more awesome kick ass Japril writing! Oh and more Grey's episodes of course.**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

JUST TICKED OVER MIDNIGHT HERE IN SYDNEY! The fireworks were (of course) awesome. Now for the rest of the world! Enjoy it!

**A/N** **glad you guys liked the little cliff hanger I've left for you. Didn't wanna keep you waiting **_**too**_** long so enjoy the update! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you're not waking up with too sore a head after a long night partying. **

…**.**

Jackson signed and dated his last chart as Meredith walked up to him. He gave her a small polite smile as he closed the folder and handed the chart back to the duty nurse sitting behind the desk.

"Hey, have you seen April?", he asked curiously, putting his pen back into his breast pocket.

"What exactly is going on between you two?", Meredith questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"We're….", Jackson started with a slight frown. He didn't want to confirm or deny an actual relationship until he had April there with him. He didn't even know what they were- at least officially.

"Look I'm not that interested with what happens behind closed doors", Meredith stopped him with a raised palm. "All I'm saying is that I like April. I really do. I've come to like and respect her. She's was there for me during some hard times and I respect her for that. So all I'm saying is that you better not hurt her", Meredith looked at him with a threatening glint in her eyes. Jackson found it unsettling. He'd never thought Meredith to be the one defending April.

"Got it?", Meredith pushed harshly. "She's had it tough with relationships and people and I don't want to see her hurt".

Jackson relaxed his face into a small smile. "Don't worry", Jackson told her with a nod. "I don't want to hurt her either".

…..

"Navy blue Converse", April thought to herself as she watched the man who'd stabbed her walk away and the elevator doors shut close on her. She lay on her side in what she was pretty sure was a large pool of her own blood. She moved her fingertips slightly and felt a warm liquid underneath them.

Yep. It was blood.

"Navy blue Converse. Navy blue Converse", she whispered repeatedly to herself. It was all she could think about. After the shooting, Owen's trauma training had taught her to try and remember as many details about the perpetrator. The only thing she could remember at that moment was the sight of his retreating navy blue Converse as the elevator doors closed, entrapping her inside this metal cage. She was never one to feel claustrophobic.

But then, she'd never lay on the floor of the elevator with a knife sticking out of her back either!

She lay on her side in the elevator whimpering in pain. It was no use to scream. This elevator was in the supply closet, only ever used when deliveries came in with medical supplies. It was no use. She knew because she's been there to sign off on a delivery just last week. Nobody was coming.

Like she'd said. No use to scream.

No use at all.

…..

Jackson's pager went off, informing him of incoming trauma in the Pit. Clutching the stethoscope around his neck, he broke out into a run towards the ER.

When he got there he was greeted by a grim looking Owen Hunt and a Bailey almost close to tears. Cristina Yang stood nearby, looking pale as if she'd seen a ghost.

"What's going on?", he breathed, leaning over to catch his breath.

"Some freak went on a stabbing spree", Owen explained quietly, his voice filled with evident anger and disguist. "We've got seven ambulances incoming. So far 15 victims".

"Holy shit!", Jackson exclaimed. He grabbed a trauma gown and followed Hunt outside into the ambulance bay to await the first ambulances.

"Have you seen Kepner?", Owen demanded, pulling on the latex gloves. "We need all the trauma surgeons we can get!".

Jackson's thoughts once again turned to his missing girlfriend. He'd been so occupied with all his work that he hadn't even noticed he hadn't seen her all afternoon. He felt uneasiness rising in his stomach. It wasn't like her to disappear- especially with incoming massive trauma. He was worried.

"No", he shook his head with a frown.

"What the hell's wrong with her?", Owen fumed angrily, staring down the driveway for the ambulances. "Don't think I won't be looking into this afterwards. Get someone to page her!".

Jackson swallowed uncomfortably and nodded, going back into the ER to page April. What was going on?!

…

It was lodged in her muscle. It had to be.

She wasn't paralysed. She could slightly move her feet. So it wasn't inside her spine.

She hadn't bled out entirely yet. So it wasn't in her arteries.

She wasn't dead. It had to be in her muscle.

If it wasn't for the excruciating pain, she might've sighed in relief. Muscle wasn't that bad. Easily pulled out. Easily fixed. She wasn't dead. She wasn't dead. She wasn't dead.

Yet.

She remained in the foetal position she'd originally fell into when she was stabbed. She'd really been stabbed. Someone had actually driven a knife through her. She heard about stabbings on the news. Saw those fake stabbings on TV. Never imagined it'd actually happen to her. Then again, she'd seen shootings on TV, but never imagined she'd be on that side of a shotgun.

She didn't dare move. She was terrified. She knew the risks. The knife could only be partially in. Could fall out with her movement and she could bleed to death. Or it could move deeper inside and hit an artery and she could, _again,_ bleed to death. She didn't want to bleed to death. She wanted to die old and smelly and senile in a nursing home with her husband by her side. No bleeding.

But she also knew that she couldn't stay here. Without proper medical attention, she could die. She wanted to at least stem the bleeding, but it would help if she could actually see the knife. She could _feel_ it….damn she could feel it. Its sharp point and cutting edge. It was long. Deep inside.

Her eyes involuntarily let out a tear. It suddenly hit her. She was afraid of death. She just found love. Someone was finally loving her. She had to survive. She had to live.

Stretching out her arm, she let out a sharp cry as the knife moved slightly inside her. She didn't want to think about what it could be doing in there. Cutting her muscles to shreds….she whimpered in fear. But pushed through as she looked up to the buttons above her. She needed to get to Level 4. That was the biggest supply closet. Someone was nearly always inside there. If the doors were open at the same time someone was inside, she might just be saved.

The buttons were at least half a metre from her reach. Using her elbow she slowly, gently, softly propped herself up. The pain travelled from the entry wound up her spine. It was sharp. Like pins and needles on steroids. Breathing loudly in and out in sharp breaths, she used that elbow to pull herself a few centimetres closer to the buttons. Using her other hand, she reached out forward. The pain, it was getting harder. More intense. Gritting her teeth hardly, she closed her eyes and pushed her hand forward. Thankfully she felt her hand come into contact with a button. Opening her eyes, her stomach sank as she saw the number 2 illuminated. No!

She felt the elevator jolt slightly as it started up towards the second floor. The doors opened to a darkly lit, empty hallway. April's heart sank and she let out a heavy, angry sob. Defeated, she sank back onto the ground, her head gently resting against the cold vinyl floor.

…

Jackson finished the last suture on the little boy's forehead and began cleaning up as a nurse rushed towards him looking both flustered and terrified. Her eyes were wide with fear, the same fear which Derek Shepard had had in his eyes _that day._

"Doctor", she began shakily, looking down at the boy uncertainly. "I…"

"It's ok", Jackson replied. "He's under, he won't hear us".

"Something has happened Dr Avery", she told him, her voice trying to remain as calm as possible, but failing as tears welled in her brown eyes.

"What is it?", Jackson demanded, his stomach sinking in fear. He had a feeling he knew what it was.

"I just got a call from the security up in the main foyer", she began, trying to control her tears. Jackson sighed impatiently. "They are saying that the stabber might be in the hospital. They've found blood in one of the hallways".

Jackson's eyes opened wide in terrible, inconceivable fear.

April!

…..

**Enjoy and remember to REVIEW! **

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**A/N Thanks to all my fantastic readers for all the reviews! I never anticipated this fic would be so popular. It means more than you know. It keeps me interested and motivated to keep writing for you! I'm really getting into a groove her at the moment. I'm loving writing this fic! So here you go! Another chapter. Enjoy and as per usual…remember to REVIEW it! **

…**.**

Jackson grabbed a nearby resident and pulled him by his sleeve towards him.

"Can you finish cleaning him up?", he indicated to the boy on the bed. "Then get him back up to the ward". The resident nodded grudgingly and went to begin work on the boy. Jackson gently led the nurse back over to the desk and leaned in towards her.

"Who else knows?", Jackson asked her softly, glancing around the room out of the corner of his eye. He didn't want to stir a panic.

"I just got the call Doctor", she answered him slowly, wiping her eyes. "You were the first attending I saw so I thought I better inform you first".

Jackson nodded in agreement. He rationalised with her. "What else did security say?". His mind wandered back to April. If this was true…._was she ok? Was she hurt?_ His stomach dropped dramatically with fear. _Was she dead?_

"They told me to spread the word to doctors and other nurses on the floor and to begin lockdown procedure calmly", she explained to him.

"Yeah that sounds about right". After the shooting, the hospital had been drilled constantly with lockdown procedures. All staff could pretty much do one in their sleep. Jackson gave another nod to the nurse, squeezing her upper arm reassuringly. The memories of the shootings were still fresh in everyone's mind.

"I lost two friends _last_ time", the nurse whose name tag read _Madeleine _whimpered gently, her upper lip quivering with the early onset of more tears.

"No one will be lost _this_ time", he told her firmly. "Tell the other nurses to begin lockdown. No one is to leave the ER unless they are literally on deaths door and need surgery. Get security on the phone and tell them to keep us updated. Ask them how many other floors know about it and have begun lockdown. Don't page anyone down here...it's too dangerous for anyone to be moving around. Get Hunt on the phone, inform him of the lockdown and the stabber warning. He'll talk you through the rest" Jackson told her the instructions firmly and slowly. She kept nodding.

"I'll go run up to the supply closet to get some things while we're not completely in lockdown yet", he said to her evenly. "We don't know how long we'll be in here for".

"Alright", she nodded.

"You need to be brave now Madeleine", Jackson told her. "We'll be ok. This is what we've been trained to prepare for. It won't be like last time".

Madeleine nodded again and walked away from Jackson towards a group of nurses. It was evident she was fighting back crying.

….

The elevator remained still, in between floors after the doors once again shut on her. She was really beginning to feel claustrophobic now. She turned her head to look up at the florescent lights above her. She was beginning to get dizzy and faint from the blood loss and it started to feel like the roof was caving in on her. She glanced back down at the front of her body. Her navy blue scrubs felt wet and heavy on her skin from the blood and the majority of her lab coat was now a bright red. Her brand new running shoes. The fancy Nike's her mother had sent for her birthday last year, were now soaked in blood. She hated blood now. She never wanted to look at it again. As a doctor, she knew blood didn't have a scent, but at that moment it smelt worse than the curdled milk Alex usually left in the fridge.

Thinking about Alex and the apartment brought a small sad smile to her dry parched lips. It was probably the blood loss and claustrophobia talking, but in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around the dickhead she called Alex Karev.

Jackson! She wanted to kiss Jackson! To jump on him, wrap her legs around his waist and kiss him like the world was ending.

But her world was ending. Without help soon, she'd be dead. If she didn't bleed, infection might get her. The blade might've been rusty, might've been dirty. She wished she was unconscious. That she didn't feel the agony running through her body or think like the trauma doctor she was. Optimism suddenly flooded through her body. If she was awake, it meant the wound wasn't that bad. That it wasn't bad enough for her to be unconscious.

She rolled her head around and looked up at the elevator buttons above her. The number 4 was only about 15 centimetres above the number 2. She could manage it. It would be fine.

Again she propped herself up on one elbow, ignoring the agonising pain flooding her entire self. She closed her eyes again and reached up, praying she'd hit the jackpot.

…

Jackson walked briskly towards the stairs. He thought it best to avoid the elevator during the lockdown. He wasn't the biggest fan of tight constricted spaces.

"Avery!", Arizona Robbins voice filled the hallway. Jackson stopped in his tracks and looked back at her with raised eyebrows. Right now he really wasn't in the mood for smiles and chit chat. But Robbins didn't look pleased, stalking up to him with a fuming frown.

"What the hell is wrong with April Kepner?", she demanded furiously.

"Excuse me?", the eyebrows rose further.

"She completely bailed on me!", the blonde doctor explained, waving her arms. "She _asked_ to be kept informed on a patient and then when I told her to scrub in, she completely disappeared. I had to get a _resident_ to assist me in surgery. You know how that makes me feel? The resident was hopeless".

"Wait", Jackson held up a palm to stop her. "April didn't show for surgery?".

"No!"

Jackson's eyes opened wide with fear as he ran his hand over his newly shaved head.

"What's going on Avery?", Arizona asked with confusion, glancing around at the anxious nurses nearby.

Jackson sighed. "We're in lockdown again. Apparently there is some maniac with a knife in the hospital. He might've already got someone. Security found a pool of blood in a hallway and a bloody knife nearby".

"Oh my God", Arizona face went ghostly white, her mouth opened gapingly.

"Dr Robbins, April didn't show for the incoming trauma either", Jackson explained anxiously. "I think she might be hurt".

"It's not like Kepner to disappear without a trace", Robbins agreed. "Get upstairs to the lobby and see what you can find out. I'll phone Hunt and the police".

"Ok", Jackson nodded, he made to start walking away when Robbins stopped him.

"Be safe Jackson", she told him quietly. Jackson looked at her understandingly and nodded before walking away. April was the only thing on his mind.

…..

April gave a loud cry of pain as the elevator stopped with a heavy jolt. Being on the floor, she could feel everything magnified. She glanced up and found the number 4 brightly illuminated on the screen above her as the doors opened. She was back on the floor where she'd started. She'd hit that jackpot.

Giving a small sigh of relief, she stuck out her hand in between the doors to keep them from closing. She knew the hand wouldn't be enough to keep the doors open and she only had a small window of time to drag herself out. She had to risk it. She had to get out of here. She couldn't stay in that metal cage any longer. Using the outreached arm, she pulled her body further along the floor. Looking down at herself, her stomach flipped as she caught a quick glimpse of the knife stuck inside her. It had a brown handle. To her it looked like a simple kitchen knife. The kind she used only this morning to cut herself some bread. Pushing that to the back of her mind, she continued to drag her body, carefully trying to avoid leaning on her back. The thought of the knife driving deeper inside sent shivers through her body. She stopped momentarily when her body was about ¾ of the way through. Her legs lying stupidly in between the open doors.

As a kid, she'd always had a fear of elevator doors closing shut on her. She was the first to run out the elevator doors as soon as they'd opened and refused to step inside when they were too packed. Elevator doors were a pet hate for her. She was a farm girl. Spiders, snakes, tractors and guns were everyday things in her childhood. Many people would laugh when she told them her childhood phobia, but to her, it was rationalised. Elevator doors were freaky, ok?

So in that exact moment, the fear came flooding back. She was terrified. Scared that the doors would slam shut and crush her legs. She'd seen doctors get their lab coats caught in the doors when the motion detectors didn't work. So with one last burst of fear fuelled courage, she rolled onto her abdomen and used both arms to pull herself further out of the elevator until her entire body was out.

She'd done it! She remained on her stomach and let out a tearful, joyful excited sob. She was out. She was free. All she had to do now was be found. She couldn't stay like this. The blood loss was getting heavier because of her movement. She felt her brain losing focus and body running out of energy. She glanced behind her to see the large red smear on the vinyl floor. Her thoughts went back to Reed. Finding her lying in a pool of her own blood. Her large, wide eyes staring blankly ahead. The image still haunted her sometimes at night. She lifted her hand to examine it, it was covered in blood. Not just stained, but completely covered. She couldn't see a hint of ivory. She gagged slightly. She was a surgeon. She operated with blood. She worked with it every day. But for some strange, twisted reason, knowing it was her own blood, made her feel revolted. She dropped the arm back to her side and leaned onto the other side. The side without the knife. She was facing an empty hallway, with only a few shelves to look at.

What about the stabber? Where was he? Had he done this to another person too? Had he killed? Why was he doing this? Why hadn't security found him? Stopped him? Hadn't this hospital learnt that lesson already? Her mind began to go blank as the blood loss finally began to take its toll. In fact, she welcomed the unconsciousness. It was welcome break from this continuous monologue running through her brain. These thoughts were too much for her to take. She closed her eyes slowly, taking in the sight of the empty hallway for a final time.

Suddenly a flicker! A shadow! It was the outline of a person. She willed her eyes to open wider.

Yes!

It was a person!

Standing at the end of the hallway, getting something from the shelf. She could tell by the shape of his clothing that it was a doctor. Finally! Help!

"Help me!", she called out. But her voice was husky and broken from the lack of use and the constant crying and whimpering. The person didn't react.

"Help!", she tried once more.

Nothing.

She tried a loud groan.

Nothing.

Helplessness and defeat washed over her as her body caved in to the agony and trauma and her eyes blinked firmly shut.

Underneath her, the pool of rich red blood suddenly began to become larger as the blade inside her lower back shifted.

…..

**You know how much I love the cliff hangers! Enjoy this one! **

**REVIEW ME! I'm aiming to have 50 reviews. I get fifty, you guys get an early update! But no 50, no deal! **

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

**A/N thank you so very much to all my readers for your fantastic outpouring of reviews! My inbox was flooded this morning with review notifications. I can't stop smiling! Thank you! **

**Please enjoy the next chapter. I think it's what most of you have been waiting for. **

**REVIEW! **

**PS is it just me, or are these new 9x10 spoiler pics making your blood boil! I really just want to punch Stephanie's lights out! Just go away already! **

…

The next hour, Jackson would probably remember as the most stressful in his entire life. He was in the storage closest up on the first level of the hospital when his pager suddenly went off, piercing the silence around him like a bullet.

_911! Stat! Pit! _

With a puzzled frown, he grabbed the last of the supplies and walked briskly down to the Pit. Something big had happened. In lockdown, paging was to be kept to a strict minimum, unless something really urgent happening. Thinking this, he broke out into a slow jog down the stairs. As he entered the Pit, he saw a few attendings, Grey and Yang included, crowding themselves into the tiny trauma room. Their shouting and talking muffled by the reinforced glass windows.

Jackson knew better than to enter unless he was asked to, instead walking over to the nearby nurses' station and dumping the supplies on the top of the bench. Glancing down at the nurse with confusion he indicated towards the trauma room.

"What's going on?", he questioned.

"They've found a victim", the nurse replied solemnly. "Poor thing still has the knife lodged in her back".

Jackson's eyes went wide with fear. "_Her_?", he demanded. "Who is it?", he pushed heatedly. "Who did they find?".

"I don't know!", she exclaimed upsettingly. "Doctor Karev found a girl on the fourth floor in the storage closest. All I heard was the knife was still in her. Massive bleed out. She's just hanging on".

Jackson didn't hear the last line because he was already at the window. The girl's body was surrounded by doctors and covered in bandages. He caught a glimpse of the blood on the floor, dripping from the bed. The person was lying on their side as the doctors attended to her.

"Feeling in the leg!", Shepard yelled out. "She's not paralysed".

"She lost at least 4 units of blood", Hunt exclaimed. "Get all the O Neg you can from the blood bank!", he instructed an intern.

"No wait!", Meredith shouted, stopping the intern. "We're in lockdown, we can't move. They still don't have the guy". She could tell that Hunt was tempted to tell the intern to go anyway, but the memories of the shooting were enough to stop him.

"Damn it!", he cussed. "Anyone willing to do a vein to vein transfusion. Anyone O Neg?" he asked the room.

Jackson moved into the hallway to try and get a better view of the person. He still didn't know who it was. He had heard Hunt's last words and put up his hand.

"I am!", he replied firmly. "I'll do it!".

Hunt glanced at him uncertainly. "Ahhh….Avery…..I don't know….".

"What's going on?", Jackson demanded. Meredith, who had her back to him, turned her neck to look at him. Her eyes were filled with pity and apology as she stepped aside and allowed Jackson to finally see who the patient was.

He felt like his inside has just been ripped out and hung to dry in front of him. There she was. April.

Her usually perky, smiley face was now a ghostly pale and her usually bright chocolate eyes were shut as she lay on the bed being treated. The trauma surgeon was now the trauma patient. At that moment, Jackson found himself short of breath.

"Step outside Avery", Hunt instructed him, a hint of pity in his voice. April was _his_ protégé. He hated her like this too. "Get yourself together".

Jackson glanced at Hunt blankly for a moment before sparking back into focus. "No!", he shook his head. "I'll help her. Let me do the transfusion. Please!", he added pleadingly.

Hunt nodded and indicated for a nearby resident to begin the transfusion. Jackson sat down in a chair next to the door, directly facing April's face. He stared at her helplessly, willing her with his mind to get better. To open her eyes. To survive this.

His eyes were locked onto April's closed eyelids. He winced slightly as the resident inserted the needle into his arm to being the transfusion. He was saving her life. He was helping her. There she lay, the love of his life. And she really was. He truly did love her. She was different. He'd never felt this way with Cristina, Lexie or Stephanie. What he felt was love. The kind of love that makes your stomach jump. The kind that makes your fingers go all tingly and numb. The kind of love that makes you grin like a stupid fool. He was a stupid fool. He should have looked for her. Searched when he first noticed her gone. Searched when the alarm was raised about the stabber. Love isn't supposed to make you act like a coward- but he had. He would feel that guilt for a very long time. He stared at her pale face and bloodied body and willed her to wake up.

"Avery!", Hunt's booming voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What?", Jackson asked vacantly.

"You're done here. We need to get her up to the OR. The nurse just told us they've hustled some security guards to give us an escort. They were willing to help when they heard it was senior doctor", he explained calmly.

"What's happening with her", Jackson asked firmly. He didn't want the bullshit the doctors usually gave family member.

"She's going into hypovolemic shock", Cristina interjected for her husband. "We need to give her more transfusions and then we need to treat the stab wound injury in surgery".

Jackson nodded solemnly and stood aside as they wheeled out the gurney that April lay on. As they rode past, Jackson reached out and brushed his hand against her. She was deadly cold. Not warm and inviting like the last time he'd held her. It only reinforced just close to death's door she truly was.

"She'll be alright Avery", Hunt comforted Avery with a gentle pat on his upper arm.

Jackson looked up at Hunt threateningly. "Just look after her. She's special. She's April Kepner and she _needs_ to live".

Hunt simply nodded once in mutual agreement and understanding and walked away to follow the trail of doctors and April's gurney.

Jackson backed himself up against the wall of the room and sank down onto the ground, folding his knees to his chest and resting his head in his hands. Now that they'd found April, the hatred was beginning to set in. Hatred for himself and hatred for the gutless wacko responsible for this. What brought people to feel the need to kill other human beings was beyond him. He hated himself for neglecting to look out for April better. He hated the perpetrator for mortally wounding and torturing the women he loved. His hands curled into fists and he let out a loud shout, pushing away a nearby chair violently.

A nearby intern, none other than Stephanie Edwards, rushed into the trauma room with confusion and fear painted on her face. "Is everything alright Doctor Avery?", she asked nervously, looking at him down in the corner.

"Yeah", he replied through gritted teeth. He wasn't in the mood to play happy and nice with her.

"This must bring back so many memories", Edwards spoke quietly.

"I don't want to talk about it", Jackson muttered furiously, looking away from her purposefully, instead staring down at the ground.

"I just heard that they've found three more victims", the timid intern added gravely. "Two nurses and a resident- Doctor Jamal. One was a NICU nurse- they say she's critical".

"What are her injuries?", Jackson asked intently.

"Apparently the knife got into her bowel and colon. They don't know anymore", Edwards spoke sombrely, clutching her hands together.

"That sick bastard", Jackson spat, looking directly ahead of him into thin air. "Who does that? Stab people?".

"The same types who pick up guns and rifles and decide to go on shooting sprees in hospitals", Edwards answered blankly. "The same types who shoot up movies theatres or shopping malls. They don't see their actions resulting in death and pain and suffering. They see it as an justifiable act of revenge and justice. That's their view of the world", she reasoned.

"This world is truly twisted and sick", Jackson added.

"Yeah", Edwards gave a wry smile. "It truly is", she agreed.

Jackson slowly stood up and walked out of the room over the nurses' station. Leaning forward he bent over to stretch his neck and back, taking a few deep breaths to relax himself down. He knew he had a long wait ahead of him before he knew anything about April and the lockdown prevented him from being in the gallery.

Suddenly the phone rang, being the closest, Jackson picked up the receiver

"ER Seattle Grace Mercy West", he answered evenly.

"Who does the redhead belong to?", a male voice demanded with an unsettling titter.

"Excuse me?", Jackson asked, frowning. Something wasn't right. "Who is this?", he questioned further.

"Who does the pretty little redhead belong to?", the voice repeated. "WHO DOES SHE BELONG TO?", he yelled ragingly.

"I don't understand what you're saying Sir", the plastic fellow responded, trying to keep his voice calm and unfaltering. But he knew, he knew exactly what he was saying. April.

"Hmm…no owner eh? Too bad!", the man laughed loudly. "She's soooo pretty", he quipped playfully. "Such lovely soft hair. Nice arse too".

"Hey!", Jackson shouted warningly.

"Ohh!", the man giggled. "She's yours eh? Nice catch boy!".

"I know where you are sicko", Jackson warned him heatedly. "I won't hesitate to come up there and break your neck".

"But I wouldn't", the mysterious voice told him teasingly. "See I've got a whole bunch for your friends here too. I'm sure they wouldn't want to be witness to that scene, would they?".

Jackson froze in terror. He glanced at a nearby nurse and mouthed _police_ to her, pulling out his mobile phone and handing it to her.

"I don't believe you", he stalled.

There was a long pause before Jackson heard some breathing on the other side of the receiver.

"Hello?", he demanded anxiously.

"It's Meredith", Grey spoke quietly into the phone, her heavy breathing continuing into the phone.

"What the hell is going on?", Jackson asked softly, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

"It's the guy who did this to April", Meredith explained. "He's got a knife to Bokie's throat. He standing next to April and won't let us continue to operate on her".

"Shit", Jackson swore under his breath. "Well what does he want?".

Silence.

"Hello?", he pushed.

"I'll call you back", the male voice told Jackson before he hung up.

…..

**I'm sure you know by now that I love leaving you with cliff hangers. Please enjoy and REVIEW. **

**On a side note, the heaps of reference to blood and that in the last couple of chapters is significant to me because today I went and donated blood for the first time. It didn't hurt **_**much**_**, but it means that three lives are saved or helped because of my donation. So I urge you to think about donating- wherever you are. Just think about the people that get to live their lives because you live through a few hours of slight discomfort. You'll feel very proud of yourself. I know I am right now. **

**And another thing: just want to reply to a few reviews collectively. In a real life situation, April probably would've been found really quickly. But I'm no expert in these things, only writing what my imagination provides me with. So for the sake of the fic and storyline, let's go with it **

**See you soon! **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

**A/N glad to see everyone is enjoying it so far. I appreciate the reviews. You also know how much I love messing with your heads, so I think you'll all enjoy this chapter very much. **

…

Jackson awoke violently with a terrified scream. Shaking slightly, he sat up in the bed and let out a few heavy breaths in an attempt to calm himself and his thumping heart down.

Was it all in his head? The stabber? The hostage taking? April? He didn't understand what was real and fake anymore. Those lines were blurring severely.

"Doctor Avery!", Stephanie Edwards stood in the doorway of the on call room looking worried. "Are you ok?", she asked.

"I think I had a bad dream", he said quietly, glancing at the floor. "What's happening?".

"They've caught the guy", she spoke triumphantly. "The SWAT guys arrested him about 30 minutes ago".

"So it was all real", the plastic surgeon sighed, running a still shaky hand over his head.

"Doctor Kepner is fine", Edwards informed him matter of factly. "Doctor Hunt came down about 10 minutes ago to tell you, but you were asleep so he decided to leave you be".

"What!", Jackson frowned angrily, standing from the bed and storming angrily towards the door. "He should have woke me! I wanted to be kept informed! Son of a bitch! He knew that!" he fumed.

"She's fine!", the intern interrupted him meekly. "There were no complications. They gave her some more blood and took out the knife. Apparently a few more centimetres and it would have got her liver. It only just nicked an artery, so the blood loss wasn't as bad as it could have been. She's up in ICU at the moment…she hasn't woken yet".

"I need to be up there", Jackson said blankly, making to push past Edwards.

"We can't leave here until they clear us", she told him regretfully. "They need statements and do a head count in case another victim is still missing".

Jackson inhaled sharply, rolling his eyes and nodding. "Alright", he sat down in a nearby chair. "What else do you know?", he asked her imploringly.

"Another victim was found….a family member. His mother was in for a hernia repair and instead he got stabbed. Should pull through though".

Jackson nodded again, taking in the new information. "And Doctor Kepner? Anything else?", he questioned, attempting to keep the desperation out of his voice.

"Touch and go. She was in that elevator a long time apparently, Doctor Hunt said to expect some PTSD. The blood loss was significant…..its a miracle she's still alive really!".

"Thanks Stephanie", he gave the intern and his one-time lover a small polite smile. "I appreciate you looking out for me".

"No problem", she returned the smile.

"Are we….ok?", he asked uncomfortably, referring to their one night stand.

Edwards paused awkwardly because nodding. "Sure. It's all good. I knew it was stupid to go after an attending. The "surgical food chain" just doesn't work that way", she grinned.

Jackson smiled her thanks and watched as Edwards walked away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Alex Karev enter the waiting room. Jackson stood quickly and jogged over to his roommate.

"How's April?", he demanded. "What's happened up there?".

"I was just up with her in ICU", Karev explained solemnly. "She's still out of it dude, probably will be for another few hours. They want to get her stabilised before they reverse the induced coma".

Jackson nodded sadly. "You found her didn't you?", he questioned. "You saved her life Karev".

Alex nodded, glancing down at the ground as he recalled the event. "I tell you man, I've never seen that much blood. I honestly don't know how she's still alive. I know they gave her transfusions and that….but it wasn't just a puddle…it was a _lake_".

Jackson grimaced as his brain conjured up a mental image. "What happened?".

"I was in the storage closest looking for some more dressings because the Peds closet was empty. I knew nobody would be up there so I could take them without worry. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some red. I thought I was imagining it, then I turned the corner and there she was, lying her stomach in that lake of blood. Then I saw it, the knife. It was a big thing. It was unbelievable, the handle just sticking out. Seriously dude!", Alex exclaimed disbelievingly. I don't understand how she's still alive".

"She's strong", Jackson answered simply.

"Yeah", Alex agreed with a wry chuckle. "She might be annoying and weird, but I gotta hand it to her. That chick is brave. She's officially a Seattle Grace Mercy Death-er. Survives a shooting and a stabbing!".

Jackson gave a Alex a small grin. "I think deep down in that twisted, whoring heart, you love April Kepner, don't you".

"Whatever", Alex said nonchalantly, supressing a smile. "She cooks, she cleans, she does our dirty laundry. She survives stabbings. She's got potential", he shrugged.

Jackson allowed himself to laugh gently at Alex's joke, giving his mate a friendly slap on the shoulder. "I really mean it dude", Jackson told him seriously. "Thanks for finding her. You saved her life".

"She would've done the same for me", Alex nodded. "She's friggin April Kepner".

"Did she say anything to you?", Jackson asked with interest.

"Not much", Alex shook his head. "When I was carrying her down to the Pit, she was mumbling a little….nothing coherent. She must have been in a hell of a lot of pain. Hunt told me that the knife was actually moving around _inside_ her".

Jackson winced at the thought of that. It only made him admire his girlfriend even more. She was incredibly brave and strong. He couldn't wait to see her again. To feel her and to kiss her. To tell her he loved her.

"So what's the situation with this?", he indicated around the room with his hand. "Why are _you_ getting to move around?".

"I was cleared already", Alex explained "I thought I'd come down and check on some of the crash accident kids, but I see they've been moved out already".

"I can't believe this happened again", Jackson sighed heavily. "What the fuck is wrong with this place?"'.

"That's the question of the decade!", Alex snorted wryly. "I don't get why the hell I'm still here. I should've shipped out years ago….but something is keeping me here".

"Isn't the old saying something like 'bad times bring people closer together'?", Jackson smirked.

"Whatever…..this shithole has seen too _many_ bad times", Alex quipped, rising from his seat. "I'll see you round man, keep me posted on Kepner".

Jackson nodded and waved a small goodbye to his friend. He couldn't help but reflect on Karev's words. SGMW had seen _way_ too many tragedies befall it, but still the doctors remained. Remained to see another day. Why? Then it hit him. It was the people. Why were residents invited to attending's weddings? Why were attending's so concerned and upset when a resident got hurt. Because they were all a family. Slightly dysfunctional and quite large, but they worked together. They jumped the same hurdles. They saved the same lives- together. Smiling to himself, he settled into the chair to wait until he could go see April.

…..

Jackson ran out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. He slowed down once he'd entered the ICU wing…he knew the nurses there and they weren't too keen on naughty behaviour.

"She's in room 4", his favourite nurse, Linda told him with a small knowing smile as he walked up to the station.

Jackson only flashed her a thankful grin and walked towards the room, his chest fluttering slightly with nervous anticipation. He was half excited and half terrified. As he walked in the room, his heart sank when he saw April. She lay on the bed, her face still as pale as the last time he'd seen her. The ventilator tube coming out of her mouth, connected to the machines that beeped steadily in the corner. Glancing down her body, he noticed the small bump of bandages wrapped around her abdomen, covering the access wound. Her auburn hair was out and spread like a halo over the pillow. She looked so peaceful. Jackson timidly walked up to the bedside and took her hand in his. It was cold. Not dead body cold, but uncomfortable cold, compared to his warmth.

Tracing his finger along her arm, she smiled sadly down at her. "Hey April", he whispered.

As a doctor he knew that the chance she could hear him were close to nothing, but he knew she wouldn't want to be treated like some kind of dying invalid. She was still herself, still _there_….it just so happened her eyes weren't open. He knew she would want him treating her as if she was awake.

He continued to rub April's hand gently with his fingers when Hunt walked in quietly.

"So what now?", Jackson asked through gritted teeth. He needed someone to take his anger out on.

"We wait", Owen told him regretfully. "She _needs_ to stabilise before we can pull her out from under. Her body is just too volatile at the moment. We bring her out and she might crash."

Jackson nodded, fighting back tears. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, so instead he took a long, deep breath and continue to clutch April's hand.

She had to pull through. She _HAD_ to.

….

**Sorry it's taken me a couple of days to update. Please forgive me and remember to review. My next goal is 100 reviews . If I get to it, then I'll update same time tomorrow! C'mon guys! I need that motivation! **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

**Sorry to everyone for not updating sooner, despite promising to. Sydney is having a terrible heatwave at the moment. Temps peaking at 42C (107F)! I hate it and find writing un-motivating when its boiling. But now I've got the air conditioning pumping and ready to write! **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I've broken that 100 review barrier….first ever in all my time writing fan fiction. It means a lot to me. Thank you all. Please enjoy and leave your review at the end. **

…**.**

"Jackson wake up!", he was woken by a harsh shake on his shoulder.

"What the hell?", he exclaimed, his eyes opening slowly as he adjusted to the bright sunlight flooding through the blinds. He felt a sharp stab of pain in his lower back as he adjusted himself in the armchair next to April's bed. He looked up over his shoulder and came face to face with Meredith who was looking down at him with a concerned frown.

"How long have you been here?", she demanded, folding her arms.

"I don't know", Jackson sighed, running a hand down his face. "What time is it?".

"7am", Meredith told him. "You need a shower. We've got rounds in a few hours and you are starting to reek", she rose her eyebrow at him. "When was the last time you went home?'.

"Home isn't the same without her", he replied softly, glancing back at April sadly. "Karev spends most of his time here with the car crash kids….and I don't like the place empty. Plus I want to be here", he added.

"At least go have a shower in the attending lounge", she instructed him firmly. "April's a clean freak. She wouldn't want you here smelling like a landfill".

Jackson smiled wryly and nodded, giving April's hand one more squeeze before standing and leaving the room. Meredith remained behind, giving the unconscious April a sad smile.

"Wake up April", she whispered softly. "Don't give the bastard the satisfaction".

And with that, she also left the room.

….

Jackson entered the attending lounge and frowned slightly when he found all the first year attendings also gathered there.

"What's on?", he asked, approaching Yang and Karev.

"Hunt called a meeting", Alex told him blankly. "I don't know why", he answered Jackson's next question immediately.

"Probably something to do with what happened", Meredith offered, joining the group.

"I thought they caught the guy", Jackson asked.

"Yeah they did", Alex replied in his usual sarcastic manner. "He was schizophrenic….claims the 'voices' were telling him to do it", he chuckled dryly.

"I hate it when they're fucked in the heads" Jackson fumed, his fist curling. "Means we can't go all ape shit on them. Also means the media tends to go easier on them".

"It's always the crazy ones", Yang shook her head.

She was interrupted with Hunt opening the door to the lounge. Silence immediately fell in the group as they waited in anticipation.

"Thanks for coming", Hunt began. "Once again, Seattle Grace Mercy West has been ravaged by a horror and sadness of unimaginable proportions. I wanted to bring you all here so that I can give you the official update on what's happened. I don't want rumours flying around with lies. As a group", he swept his hand around the room. "You've been through this kind of event before. You know how to cope and what to expect emotionally and mentally".

Jackson stared at Hunt with a slight frown. This speech sounded like it'd come straight from the laptop of someone in HR. His own girlfriend was lying ICU with critical injuries and all Hunt could offer were somebody else's words. It wasn't good enough! He lowered his stare until he knew it resembled a glare. He saw Hunt glance at him uncomfortable a couple of times already.

"The perpetrator, James Windup, 23 year old schizophrenic. He stabbed six people. Four staff members: Kelly Quinn, Dr Ahmed Jamal, Lucy Damun and Dr April Kepner. And two civilians. The police have him in custody and its very likely at his stage, he won't be acquitted of murder on physiological grounds. I had the opportunity to speak to a lawyer on the prosecution team this morning and they are saying they want to push for the death penalty".

Jackson allowed himself to relax slightly. He didn't usually advocate for capital punishment, but this was personal. He hated himself for seeking revenge, but then his thoughts returned to April lying upstairs in ICU and he faltered, returning his focus to Owen.

"We do have trauma counsellors on stand-by", Hunt told them. "They will be making appointment with whom they deem necessary. Those will be compulsory- we've all seen what trauma can do to our emotional states, so I'm not taking any chances here people. I'll keep you updated with more soon", he finished. "Thank you".

"This is all a load of bullshit", Jackson muttered to himself as the attending's began to disperse.

"Don't get so wound up about it Jackson", Meredith said to him warningly. "No use getting upset. It's done, it's over. The guy will get his justice", she shrugged.

Jackson opened his mouth to protest fumingly, but stopped when he locked eyes with Hunt across the room. He closed it again and stormed out of the lounge, his white lab coat flying behind him.

…

Jackson sauntered up to the nurses' station with an stormy look plastered on his unshaven face.

"You ok?", the senior nurse, Michelle asked him compassionately. Pretty much everyone was beginning to hear about April and Jackson's relationship now that one half was hooked up to a ventilator.

"Never better!", Jackson countered dryly, keeping his eyes trained on the chart in front of him.

"We're all thinking about her", she continued with a sad note in her voice.

Jackson didn't even reply, he signed the chart and left the desk with Michelle looking sympathetically at his retreating figure. He needed to punch something! Needed to let out all the dangerous anger boiling up inside him. He felt terrible about himself. He knew he should be feeling anxious. Scared. Worried. Freaking out about April. But instead all he could feel was this insatiable _rage_. It was eating up his insides. He walked into the nearest on call room and sighed gratefully to find it empty. Thumping down onto the closest bed, he lay down on his back and stared up at the beige coloured ceiling.

He couldn't help but smile slightly as he thought about if the roles were reversed. April would probably be freaking out. Panicking and blabbering in her usual, adorable manner. She'd be going into overdrive, trying to do everything and anything.

Suddenly it hit him! Sitting up in the bed, his eyes grew wide as he realised that nobody had alerted April's family yet. They didn't know she was injured and in ICU, let alone in a coma. He didn't know too much about her family. They hadn't really discussed it properly. He knew her parents were on their family farm back in Moline. Two of her sisters lived there too while the fourth was somewhere on the East coast studying. He had to let them know. Jackson was at a loss about what to do here. If the roles were reversed, he would want his mother there by his bedside. April loved her family and Jackson knew she'd want them there too.

…

Staring uncertainly at the number scribbled on the scrap of paper in his hands, he lifted the receiver of the telephone and placed it to his ear as he began to dial.

"Hello?", a placid female voice answered.

"Hi", he spoke anxiously. "Is this Karen Kepner?".

"Yes. Who is this?".

"Ahh", he paused. "My name is Jackson Avery. I work with April here in Seattle".

"Oh yes", Karen replied compliantly. "April mentioned your name a few times. You worked with her in the other hospital".

"Yeah that's me", Jackson nodded.

"What's wrong?", Karen spoke worryingly. "Why are _you_ calling here?".

"Mrs Kepner", Jackson sighed heavily. "April's has been hurt. She's in coma here at Seattle Grace Mercy West".

…..

**Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this chapter do not necessarily represent my own. **

**Please enjoy and remember to review! All advice is appreciated. Don't worry! Haven't forgotten about the pregnancy thing….it'll be there! **

**Now buckle up people! Grey's is returning tomorrow and from the sneak peeks have shown, Jackson might actually be keen on Edwards! *cue the devastated wails of tears* **

**Japril forever! **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

**A/N So I won't lie when I say I'm a little disappointed at the lack of reviews. Please keep reviewing! I love hearing the feedback and it motivates me to update quicker! Aiming to get past 130 reviews! **

**I know that I've been dragging it out a lot with April out of it, but I guess that's part of the plot. Plus I really want to dedicate this chapter introducing the Kepner family to the story. **

**Hopefully you will all enjoy and remember to review! **

…**.**

"Is it just me, or do they all look the same?", Alex snickered, leaning back against the counter.

Meredith frowned and gave him a whack over his head. Alex responded with a small protest, rubbing the place she's hit him. "What was that for?", he returned her frown.

"Stop being an ass", she told him firmly, turning back to face April's room.

The entire group of them, Jackson included were standing around the nurses' station opposite April's ICU room. It had been two days since Jackson made the phone call to Moline and within 24 hours her entire family had arrived. Her parents, Karen and Joe along with her three sisters. All five of them were crammed into April's room, sitting at her bedside. Jackson didn't want to interfere, instead remaining outside the room with his friends. None of her family had budged since arriving there this morning, but with visiting hours ending soon, he would be able to sneak in and get some alone time with this girlfriend.

"Evil spawn has a point", Yang stared at April's sisters. "They all have red hair…look at em", she gestured at the women. "It's weird".

"It's genetics", Jackson countered sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "They can't help it".

"I wonder if they all sound like her too", Alex chuckled.

"Alex", Meredith scolded him with a glare. "Leave her family alone. This is a hard time for them".

Alex's smile faltered and he didn't reply, knowing fully that it was true. Instead he popped a few grapes into his mouth and chewed quietly.

"Have they said anything to you?", Meredith directed her question at Jackson.

"Not really", he replied. "Her mum said hello earlier. Thanked me for calling her and all that. Just asked about her condition….but Hunt came up later and spoke more to them".

"When are they gonna reverse the coma?", Yang asked, stealing some of Alex's grapes. "I kinda miss her squeaky voice and marching orders. It ain't the same without Kepner".

Jackson smiled wryly and shook him head. "She's not stable enough yet. Shepard said still some pressure in the brain".

Suddenly Yang's pager rang "forget Virgin Mary. She's Sleeping Beauty now", she quipped and she left the group with a small wave.

Meredith leaned in closer to Jackson. "Do they know about", she paused. "_You two"._

Jackson shook his head again. "No….I think if April had told them, they would be making a bigger deal".

"They'd probably be getting ready to kill you", Alex interjected with a snort. "You stole the Virgin Mary's virginity".

"I didn't steal it!" Jackson hissed. "She gave it to me!".

"Woah!", Alex held up a hand defensively. "I don't need to be hearing about that!", he stood from the chair he was sitting in and left, shaking his head in disgust.

"How are you?", Meredith asked him empathetically when Alex wasn't within earshot.

"The anger phase is passing", Jackson nodded slowly. "I'm still scared shitless. I'll be fine once she wakes up".

"I was the same with Derek", Meredith agreed. "You just want to hear the person's voice. Feel their warmth. See their open eyes".

Jackson looked at Meredith with a newfound respect. Beneath the 'twisted sister' thing, she was just another normal, emotional person who looked out for everyone.

"Anyway", she spoke. "I'll see you later. Good luck!", her eyes indicated to the family in the room.

Jackson gave her a thankful smile and went to sit down in the chair behind the counter. He had some spare time before his next surgery and wanted to fix up a few charts. His resident had the messiest writing and never did them quite the way he liked.

He was halfway through his first chart when he heard someone clear their throat. He looked up and saw one of the Kepner sisters glancing down at him warily.

Jackson looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak first. She didn't, instead continuing to look at him like he'd done something wrong.

"Yes…", he raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"You have really pretty eyes", she finally spoke. Her voice was blank and hollow. Emotionless.

"Ahhh…" Jackson's eyebrow rose further. "Thanks?", he replied uncertainly.

"She told me you had the most gorgeous eyes", the girl continued. "That they sparkled when you were angry or sad".

Jackson's smile turned sad as he thought of April confiding in her sister about her life. About him.

"I can't believe she's lying that that bed", her voice dropping to a whisper, threatening to burst into tears.

"She'll be alright", Jackson spoke reassuringly, rising from the chair. "April's a fighter. She's strong and she'll survive this".

The sister nodded and wiped away a stray tear with her hand. "I'm Alice", she told him with a small polite smile.

"Hi", Jackson greeted her. "Jackson Avery", he offered her his hand, which she shook.

"She's told me a lot about you Jackson", Alice smiled further. "I feel like a practically know you already".

"Wow", Jackson chuckled uncertainly. "I don't really know that much about April's family to be honest".

"Once she's back up to scratch, I'll kick her ass", Alice joked, glancing behind her shoulder at her sister. "Well I'm the youngest. Libby is the one with the green sweater and Kimmie is wearing the jeans. All four of us been _blessed_ with the Kepner ginger-ness", she indicated to her own auburn curls with a wry smile. Jackson allowed himself to chuckle gently.

"April and I are the closest. Our other sisters are the prettier Kepner's. They were always out chasing boys and partying, April wasn't into that and I was too young. So we bonded. We speak on the phone all the time", she explained. "We tell each other everything."

Jackson glanced at her nervously. "Yes", she stopped him with a knowing smile. "I know about you two. Don't worry. I'm happy about it. Its time April found someone and you seem really good for her", she told him enthusiastically.

"Thanks", Jackson replied. "Do your…" he started apprehensively.

"No, the rest of the family don't know yet. Probably best not to mention it. Just leave it for April to tell them. It'll sound better that way".

Jackson relaxed and grinned, nodding in agreement.

"April once mentioned something about you studying on the East Coast?", Jackson asked her casually, making conversation.

"Yeah", she nodded. "I'm doing Dentistry at Boston University", she explained proudly.

"You flew all the way out here? Don't you have classes?", Jackson frowned.

"She's my big sister", Alice shrugged nonchalantly. "She'd do the same for me. Plus I've got another two weeks off for Christmas break".

"Lucky you! So you'll be a doctor like April?" Jackson said enthusiastically.

"Don't tell her", she leaned in closer with a smile. "But April is kinda my hero", she explained softly. "She studied hard. She worked her arse off in high school and graduated as the valedictorian. She broke that stereotype that you have in small towns. You know" she waved her arm. "Barely finish high school, marry young, have a truckload of kids…but April broke out. She became a doctor and works in a big city. My parents weren't too happy about it, but April didn't care. She did what she loved. I really admire her for that".

Jackson beamed at the youngest Kepner daughter. He was really beginning to like her. She was so much like April.

"Are your parents happy with _you_ doing medicine?", Jackson asked further.

"They think I'm just _copying_ April", Alice rolled her eyes. "I've always been a little bit of a rebel child, so they think I might be doing it to spite them".

"Are you?", Jackson grinned. He knew all about pushing the parental boundaries.

"Maybe", Alice shrugged with a playful smirk. "But mostly, I really want to become _something_. I don't want to end up like my sisters", she groaned. "Housewives, running around after smelly, dirty children and cleaning up for their lazy husbands. That's just not me".

"It's not April either", Jackson added proudly.

"Yeah", she agreed. "Another thing I admire about her".

"But you should see what she's done with our apartment. She cooks and cleans and looks after us really well".

"But that's her caring, but slightly neurotic side coming out", Alice countered with a knowing smile. "She loves looking after people. It's in her nature".

"Do you want to grab a coffee?", Jackson questioned gently. "I've got another hour off before surgery. There is a stall outside that makes a great latte".

Alice glanced uncertainly over her shoulder back at her family crowded around her sister's bedside. Jackson saw her and suddenly felt guilty.

"Don't worry", he told her. "Bad idea. You should stay here with everyone".

"No", Alice shook her head, smiling at Jackson. "April wouldn't want everyone sitting around, crying and feeling sorry for her. Its only coffee, let's go".

Jackson smiled as he led out of the ward towards the lift.

…

Jackson waved goodbye to Alice as she left to meet her parents and sister at the hotel they were staying at. He felt really happy knowing he'd found a friend in April's family. He still hadn't had a chance to properly meet her father and other sisters, but felt better knowing he'd gotten closer to one of the sisters.

As he exited the lift onto the ICU floor, he checked his watch. It was only 8:30pm. Visiting hours finished half an hour ago so the floor was pretty much empty, except for the few lingering residents checking on patients for their attending's. The rhinoplasty he'd had scheduled was cancelled when the women left with a bout of cold feet. Something about a phobia of needles. In his hand he held a steaming hot coffee he hoped to use in bribing the night duty nurse to allow him access to April's room.

Walking confidently up to the nurse's station, he flashed his best grin at the women behind the counter.

"Hi Justine".

"Give me the coffee", she outstretched her arm with a knowing expression. "You've got 20 minutes", she told him firmly.

"Thank you", he told her gratefully, handing her the coffee and walking into April's room.

The rhythmic sound of the ventilator greeted him coldly as he slid the door closed behind him. She looked paler. Weaker. Pulling up the chair to her bedside he took her colder hand in his warmer one and kissed it gently.

"I missed you today", he told her softly. "But I got to meet Alice. I really like her. She's so much like you. She's got that same _fire_. And I'm not talking about the hair", he chuckled.

His smile faltered as he continued to stare at her blank face. He gave her hand a firm squeeze.

"Please", he pleaded. "Come back to me April".

Suddenly he felt April's hand move, giving his a soft squeeze.

…

**Cliffhanger alert! **

**REVIEW ME! Remember I'm aiming for that magic 130! **

…**..**

**Let me know what you think of the Grey's episode. You lucky Yanks get it earlier than we do. I gotta rely on the internet for my fix. Don't worry about spoilers. I want to know everything about Jackson, April and that annoying, stupid, ugly bitch of an intern whose name shall not be spoken. **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

**A/N never thought I'd be writing a tenth chapter of this fic. Your reviews are what have kept me going. Thank you so very much! Enjoy! **

**Oh and obviously I'm no doctor, so don't judge the medical jargon (or lack of) in this chapter. Thanks! **

….

"I swear it happened!", Jackson exclaimed desperately, pointing to the now still hand, lying back at April's side.

"I'm not saying she didn't", Derek held up a hand defensively.

"I was holding her hand and she squeezed it", he explained. "Yeah it was only really soft, but I swear on my grandmothers grave it happened! I didn't imagine it."

"Ok", the neurologist nodded. "It might have just been a muscle spasm. We need to run some tests to see whether we can reverse the drugs and bring her out".

"What are the chances of brain trauma?", Jackson asked anxiously. "Will she awake normally? Like without amnesia and all that?"

"In this case, there really wasn't much brain injury", Derek told him calmly. "The tests we run will determine whether the blood loss was significant to warrant worry about brain injury. At this stage, I'd say any brain trauma will be minimal".

"Ok", Jackson nodded appreciatively. "Thanks for that".

"I'll see if I can pull my weight and get those tests done now", Derek told him kindly before leaving the room.

Jackson sighed heavily and took April's hand once more.

"I know you squeezed my hand!", he told her resolutely. "I felt you do it! I'm not crazy and you're not brain dead! It's all gonna work out ok".

Pulling out his phone, he pressed the call button and placed it to his ear.

"Hello?", a voice answered.

"Hi Alice", he spoke. "It's Jackson".

"Oh hey!", she sounded like she was smiling. "You've called quick!".

"I just wanted to let you know, Doctor Shepherd came by just now. He's April's neurologist", Jackson told her impassively.

"Is April alright?", the dental student demanded, worry filling her voice. "What's happened".

"Nothing bad", Jackson reassured her quickly. "They just want to run some tests to see if it's safe to bring her out of the coma".

"That's a good thing right", Alice asked cautiously. "That means she's getting better, right?"

"Yeah", Jackson nodded. "Shepherd suspects minimal, if no, brain damage".

"Thank God!", Alice exclaimed with a happy sigh. "I'm gonna go tell Mum and Dad now! Thanks Jackson! Thanks so much!", and she hung up without another word.

Jackson put his phone back into his pocket and looked back at April. "It's gonna work out. You're gonna be alright. You _need _to be alright. I miss you so much. I just want to hear your voice again. I want to see your eyes looking at me. I need you here by my side".

Jackson settled down in the arm chair, close to April's beside and still clutching her hand in his, he closed his eyes and welcomed sleep.

….

"Wake up Dr Avery!", a sharp voice woke him with a shake on the shoulder.

He opened his eyes to find the nurse, Justine, staring at him disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry Justine", he smiled sheepishly. "I lost track of time".

The duty nurse glanced at his sceptically, but didn't push the matter, instead walking over to the window and opening the blinds. Jackson squinted at the bright sunlight.

"Doctor Shepherd was here about 20 minutes ago", she told him. "Said to page him when you were awake and he'd come back".

Jackson nodded wordlessly. Then he realised he was still holding April's hand. He leaned down and kissed it before walking out. Standing outside in the hallway, he stretched out his arms, supressing a yawn as he went. Turning his head, he came face to face with a smiling Derek Shepherd who was followed by Meredith, Yang and Hunt. They too looked pleased.

"Tell its good news!", Jackson told him warily as they approached.

"It's good news", Derek confirmed, nodding with a grin. "No brain trauma".

"You can bring her out?".

"Yeah", the handsome neurosurgeon nodded again. "Vitals are stable. Incision wounds are healing nicely. She's ready".

Jackson let out a heavy sigh of relief, leaning against the wall behind him. "That's amazing", he breathed under his breath.

"We'll do it first thing after rounds this morning", Derek informed him. "Then we'll monitor her until she opens her eyes".

Jackson nodded. For him, that moment couldn't come soon enough.

"Kepner will pull through just fine", Hunt interjected with a fond smile. "She's tough".

"I better inform her family", Jackson told them, excusing himself as he once again pulled out his mobile to call Alice. She picked up on the third ring with a bright greeting.

"Alice", he told her. "It's Jackson again".

"Jackson?", she questioned. "What's the matter?", her voice turning fearful.

"They're gonna reverse her coma today!", Jackson replied, eagerly. "April will hopefully wake up today!".

"That's amazing!", Alice squealed.

"What is going on?", Jackson heard a faint voice ask in the background. He suspected it was Karen.

"April might wake up today Mum!", Alice exclaimed fervently. "She's all better!".

"Oh my God", Karen answered. "I have to go tell your father and sisters!".

"Alice", Jackson lowered his voice warily. "The doctors aren't guaranteeing no brain trauma. We need to wait for her to wake up before we go there. Don't give your family false hope".

There was a long pause before Alice answered. Her voice too lowered to match his tone.

"But there isn't a guarantee that she'll wake up brain damaged and a vegetable", Alice countered coarsely, angered by his attitude. "My parents have been worried sick!", she exclaimed in a hush hiss. "My dad refuses to eat. My mother has been sitting by the phone all night and Libby spent the last eight hours pacing the hallway outside. They _need_ this! They need the good".

Jackson was a doctor. He dealed with the families of patients on a daily basis. It was basically a golden rule of surgery. Never give false hope. Never promise. Never become attached. Well he'd broken the last one, but the first two still stood. He understood the reasons for the rules. A patient's condition can change in a literal split second. Fine one, dead the next. Giving a deep sigh in surrender he nodded.

"Fine", he huffed. "Just tell them about the reversing the coma thing. But don't give them the idea that she'll instantly become better", he told her warningly.

"Alright", Alice agreed sharply and hung up instantly. Stuffing the phone back in his pocket, Jackson leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, rubbing his face with his hands. A massive part of him also wanted to adopt Alice's optimism and believe that April would wake up without a single glitch. But he was a doctor. The medical part of his brain overrode the emotional. He knew the risk outweighed the positives. Plus, he just couldn't shift that weird feeling in his stomach that something bad would happen. It would probably lead to nothing, but it was the medical part of his brain talking.

…..

"Alright", Derek announced to the room as the nurse pushed the needle of liquid into April's IV tube. Her family were gathered around her bedside, the anxious stares plastered to their faces while Jackson stood at the back of the room, his face remaining impassive.

"That should come into effect in the next 2-3 hours, then we watch and wait for her to awake", Derek explained to a nervous looking Joe Kepner as he stood behind a seated Karen.

"Thank you so much Doctor!", Joe took Derek's hand and gave it a firm shake. "Thank you".

Derek glanced at Jackson for a second before walking out. He was followed by Alice who stopped in front of Jackson with an apologetic smile.

"Hey", she spoke gently. "I'm really sorry for being an ass earlier".

"Don't stress about it", Jackson waved his hand. "I get it. You wanted to be there for your family. You wanted to help them and help _yourself_ understand all this".

"Yeah", Alice nodded in agreement. "I'm glad you understand".

"I do", Jackson replied. "I see it every day. The optimism that families desperately seek to help them pull through their loved ones surgery. It does help", he reassured her.

Alice beamed at him, glad that he understood. April was her older sister. Her idol. If a little false hope was what would get her through, she was happy to believe it.

"I think I might go on a coffee run", Alice broke the silence between them. "My dad seriously needs some caffeine".

Jackson smiled and nodded, allowing Alice past him and out the door.

Now they waited.

…..

Jackson sat alone in April's room, holding her hand. She was still on the ventilator and the machines beeped regularly around him, filling the silence.

"April", he spoke, his voice hoarse. "You know I'm not usually a coward, but I want to say something and I think this is the perfect time because you're unconscious, probably can't hear me and won't freak out when I say this".

He took a deep breath. "I love you", he stated simply. "I love you. And I've loved you for the long time. San Francisco really cemented that for me. Everything that's happened in-between has kinda been a total mess, and it's taken me a while to get to this point. But all my feelings are starting to click. And I've realised exactly what I feel for you. I love.."

The sharp beeping of the machines interrupted his voice. He glanced at the monitor above her head. Her vital were going up. Her brain activity was increasing. His eyes darted back to April and he saw her head move slightly. Her brow creased in a frown and her fingers twitched underneath his grip.

This was it!

Bending down, Jackson pushed the red nurses button on the side of the bed a couple of times. "April?", he questioned, taking her hand. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me".

Almost immediately, he felt April's cold fingers wrap around his. Relief filled every cell of his body. April's eyes slowly began to flutter open and Jackson smiled down at her reassuringly. "Hey April. I'm here. It's gonna be alright". She frowned further and lifted her hand, reaching for the intubating tube coming out of her mouth. Jackson took her hand and kissed it. "Don't touch that yet", he spoke soothingly. "We'll get the nurses in here and take it out in a second. It'll be ok". April looked up at Jackson and their eyes locked. He looked into her large, wide brown ones and cringed inwardly. They were brimming with fear. He hated seeing her that vulnerable.

"It'll all be ok", he comforted her. He was interrupted by a group of nurses coming into the room.

"Prepare for extraction of intubating tube", he instructed them firmly, taking a pair of latex gloves and pulling them on in two quick movements, leaning over April as began his work.

When he'd finished, he smiled down at her comfortingly. "How are you feeling?", he asked, rubbing her hand gently as the nurses filed out of the room.

She opened her mouth to speak but only managed to croak out "-od". Jackson grinned involuntarily at her. She was so adorable.

"That's good", he replied encouragingly. "Your voice will come back. Give your throat a chance to recuperate. Can I get you anything?".

"Wa-r", she rasped. "St-y".

"Alright", Jackson walked over to the small table in the corner of the room and poured her a glass of water from the jug. There were some straws nearby, plucking one, he placed it in the cup and walked back over to her. He guided the straw to her lips and waited patiently as he took a few small sips. Giving him a grateful smile, she settled back into the pillows.

"I missed you so much!", he sighed with a small smile, placing the cup back. "I can't believe this happened to you. I hated seeing you hurt. I'm so grateful you're ok April", he took her hand and kissed it. She smiled weakly in response.

"We'll talk about all that later", he told her. "Your family is here. Do you want me to call them?".

April's eyes grew slightly wider and she shook her head. "Do-t nnoy em. Late".

"Alright", Jackson agreed, squeezing her hand. "I got to meet Alice", he explained to her. "She's pretty great. So much like you", he grinned. April beamed proudly in response. She was glad Jackson was getting along with her favourite sister. He was a big part of her life now. She considered him a part of her family and hoped the rest of her family would too.

Her eyes involuntarily fluttered and Jackson realised just how tired she must be. Kissing her hand once more, he smiled kindly. "You rest up now. I'll just text Alice and tell them you're awake now. They've been sitting by your bedside all day so they'll want to know. I'll tell them to come tomorrow morning and see you".

April nodded once before she closed her eyes and was already asleep. Beaming down at her, he bent down and planted a kiss on her lips, gently stroking her soft auburn hair before he left the room.

…

**Hope you haven't forgotten about me. I had a little bit of writers block writing this chapter, but I've finally got it all out. Hopefully you enjoy it! **

**So I'm majorly pissed off and disappointed with Shonda Rhimes for making Jackson sleep with Edwards. Like that has to one of the worst pairings ever! I understand that it's a drama and there has to be like relationship and sexual tension between April and Jackson, but I'm worried that Jackson will actually start to like Edwards and it'll become serious…therefore April will be left behind in the dust. Fingers crossed that in the next few weeks, April and Jackson swallow their pride and GET TOGETHER! **

**Review! And feel free to rant too! **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

**A/N hope you all aren't losing interest? I only got a few reviews for the chapter. I'm officially worried. Hope you enjoy this one. **

**Yay! Episode tonight! **

…**..**

"Mum", April paused and sighed heavily. "I'm fine".

"I don't know sweetheart", Karen replied uncertainly, stroking her daughter's hair gently. "After everything that's happened, I don't want to leave you. At least not yet".

"Mum", April huffed in frustration. She was so tired, that even talking made her exhausted. She'd been having this argument with her family for the last two days since she woke up. April was pushing for them to go home. Back to Moline. The farm would suffer without her parents there running it. That was where they needed to be.

"I'm a _doctor_. A _surgeon_. I work in this _hospital_. These other doctors are my friends. Everything is fine. I'll be taken care of", she argued heatedly. She hated to get frustrated with her parents, especially after everything they'd done for her, but there was only so much of everybody she could take. They had been smothering her constantly. Asking how she was. If they could get her anything. Did it hurt? They wouldn't leave her alone! She hardly got to see Jackson. Alice was the one passing message in-between the pair. She loved her parents to the end of the universe, but it was time for them to go. She was getting better. Her incision site was healing progressively, her head was pounding less and less and her body was regenerating well.

"April…", her father interjected. "Your mother and I have been talking", he explained hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"We think…", he paused nervously. "We think maybe you should move away from Seattle".

"What!", April exclaimed in shock. "WHY!'

"Well", her mother spoke calmly. "We would want you to be closer to home, to Moline", she glanced at Joe for support. "So many bad things have happened here in Seattle and we feel it's best for you to be closer to us and your family".

"I don't believe this!", April scoffed angrily, crossing her arms and looking away from her parents gazes in frustration.

"We were concerned after the shooting", Joe spoke gruffly. "But this", he swept around the room with his arm. "This just cements our fears. We want you back home April".

"What exactly do you suggest I do?", she demanded furiously. "Just quit my job here and come work on the farm again. Be a farm girl for the rest of my days?"

"You can still be a surgeon", Karen reassured her tenderly. "There is a great little teaching hospital in Indiana. I think its Bloomington's?", she glanced at Joe who nodded. "It's attached to the University there, so you can still continue doing what you're doing. And you'd only be a few hours away from home".

"You got it all figured out", she retorted sarcastically. "I can't _believe_ this!", she waved her arms.

"We're only doing what's best for you, sweetie", Karen spoke soothingly, placing her hand on April's forearm. April just shook it off and shifted her body away from her mother. She was too furious to look at her now.

"Can you guys just please go?", April spoke quietly, settling her head back into the pillows. She was afraid she was going to say something much more hurtful. "I need some time alone".

"Alright", Karen nodded, kissing her daughter on the forehead before walking out with her husband behind her.

April's thoughts immediately flew to Jackson. She didn't want to leave him behind. They were finally starting to become something, for her to up and leave. She just couldn't. They had only spent a couple of hours together since we awoke. She constantly missed him, he had really become just an integral part of her life now. She wouldn't leave him.

April didn't mention anything to him, but she'd heard some of what he'd said to her while she was in a coma. She had heard his voice through the fogginess. She knew he had been willing her to wake. She'd also heard him say 'I love you'. It was a major step for him to admit those feelings and she felt completely honoured, because she did feel the same way. She had loved him for a long time.

Part of her understood her parents feelings. After the shooting, she'd had fears about returning to the hospital, and now after this. She agreed with Alex, this place really was Seattle Grace Mercy _Death_. Reaching out for her phone on the bedside table, she dialled Jackson's pager number. She had to talk to him. To tell him everything and hear his opinion. She knew he would be against her moving away, so she needed to hear him reassure her.

…

Jackson was with his last patients on rounds when the pager went off. He glanced at it and felt his stomach do an anxious flip when he saw it was April's number. He turned to the patient with a polite apologetic smile.

"Excuse me Mrs Andrews", he spoke to the middle aged woman. "I have an emergency to get to. I'll leave in the capable hands of Dr Johansen here", he indicated to the resident beside him. "He'll do your post-operative tests. If you need anything else, please get one of the nurses to page me".

"Thank you doctor", the woman replied as Jackson walked out of the room.

…..

Jackson entered April's room to the sight of her grinning at him.

"Hey", he frowned slightly, walking up to her. "You alright", he caressed her cheek with an anxious look. She chuckled slightly and nodded.

"Why did you page?", he asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

"I just had a massive fight with my parents", she explained with a sigh. "They were being so annoying and ridiculous". Jackson noticed that she sounded really upset and took her hand in his. He probably wouldn't have cared too much if he fought with his parents, but to April, family was everything. She'd grown up in a stable and loving family, unlike him, who had an alcoholic father, a slightly exuberant mother and a grandfather who was the envy of all other surgeons.

"What happened?", he asked tenderly. He knew she would want to rant about it.

"They want me to leave Seattle", April explained in frustration. "They want me to move to friggin Indiana".

"Why?", Jackson frowned in shock.

"They think after the shooting and now these stabbings, that it's not safe here" she told him "They think I'd be better off closer to Moline".

Jackson was lost for words. Part of him could see the Kepner's logic. This hospital had had its fair share of dramas and dangerous situations….but the whole thing was just…he shifted uncomfortably in the seat.

"I told them it was stupid", April interjected earnestly. "I told them straight out, it's not happening. I'm staying here".

"But", Jackson replied. "I know how much your family, especially your parents, mean to you April. Are you sure you want to go against them?".

April sighed and glanced at him with a loving smile. Even at the brink of losing her, he was still so understanding. "No", she told him firmly. "Alice moved to the other side of the country and they're not forcing _her_ to come home".

"But Alice never had a gun pointed at her and never had a knife sticking out of her back", Jackson pointed out.

April rolled her eyes and sighed. "Do you _want_ me to leave", she smiled playfully.

"No of course not!", Jackson responded. "How could you think that?".

"Well then why are you on their side?", April demanded. "I thought you'd be begging me not to leave".

"Trust me", he took her hand and kissed it. "I want nothing more than for you to stay. But this is your family asking you to do this. I'm just trying to suss out whether you'd consider saying yes".

"Thank you for understanding", April grinned. "But there is no way I'm leaving Seattle. I'm happy being 28 hours away from Moline. I've spent over two decades with my sisters. If I'm less than 5 hours away, it'll mean more time with their slobby husbands and grotty children. I don't need any of that. Just these last couple of days have driven insane".

Jackson couldn't help but laugh. "So you're staying?".

"I'm staying", April confirmed with a nod. Jackson stood and gently pressed his lips onto hers.

"I'm glad to hear it", Jackson whispered and they broke apart, their faces only inches apart.

"Jackson", April started nervously, glancing down at her hands. "We need to talk about something".

"What is it?", Jackson's face contorted into a frown as he sat down on the bed next to her legs. "What's happened?".

"Nothing bad", she reassured him quickly. "It's about something that happened…..when…" she stammered, unsure of how to say the words. "When I was asleep".

Jackson just frowned at her in confusion.

"I….I could…", she stared down at her hands, wringing her hands nervously. "I could hear you", she blurted.

Jackson eyes went wide in surprise. "What?", he breathed.

"I could hear you talking to me", she explained, still unable to look at him. "I heard some of what you were saying".

"Right", Jackson cleared his throat after a brief pause of silence.

"I heard you say _it_", she whispered.

"What?", he replied.

"I think it was like right before they were bringing me out, because everything was becoming clearer. I could hear Mum and Dad talking to me. I could hear Hunt and Shepherd and I could hear _you_", she explained with a tearful smile.

"Really?", he whispered. "I didn't think it was possible".

"But it happened", April told him, "and I have to tell you….", she paused. "I love you too".

Jackson looked up at her with a smile, his bright blue eyes sparkling with happiness. "I love you so much", he spoke, standing and taking her face in his hands, kissing her passionately.

…

**Hope you enjoyed! I won't be updating for at least a week. I'm going to New Zealand, then I've got my birthday and then Australia Day public holiday! Packed! But review me and I'll keep writing as soon as it's all over! **

**Let me know what you thought of the newest episode! **


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

**A/N really sorry about the late update. So much happening lately! New Zealand was great! My birthday was great! The weather- not so much. Raining non-stop some days, boiling hot the rest. Plus summer break ended and now I'm back at school! Urghh! **

**Judging from the promo, I think that 9x14 will be really interesting! We're gonna be seeing some April trauma scenes and hopefully (fingers triple crossed), some Japril scenes too! OMG. **

….

"C'mon!" Jackson exclaimed, punching the air with a fist. April couldn't help but giggle as she watched Jackson sitting in the armchair next to her bed. He was too busy watching the basketball on the tiny TV in the corner of the room to notice her watching him. Engrossed in the game he let out a wince as his team missed the shot.

"Jackson", April started uncertainly, watching him, trying to catch his eyes. He didn't get the hint, keeping his eyes trained on the screen.

"Jackson", she repeated, his time a little louder and a little firmer.

"Yeah babe", he replied, glancing at her for a second before returning to the game.

"I think it's time we tell the family", she stated, staring down at her fingers, grasping her blanket nervously.

This caught Jackson's attention and he looked at in slight shock. April sighed and took the remote out of his hands, muting the game.

"What?", Jackson breathed, his face still frozen with shock.

"I think it's time to tell the family", she shrugged. "We know how serious we are about each other, why not tell our families- the people who love us".

"I don't know how they're gonna take it", Jackson grinned sheepishly. "I'm kinda worried your father might punch my lights out", he chuckled.

April tried to supress a smile, putting on a serious frown. "My dad isn't that kinda of person".

Jackson suddenly pictured Joe Kepner in his head. The man was quite tall, about Jackson's height, but had a quite beefy and stocky build, with large hands from working that Jackson was sure could break a few bones on impact. Deciding not to share these thoughts with April, he glanced at her uncertainly.

"I dunno", he spoke uncertainly. "We've got a good thing going, don't we April", he reached out and took her hand in his, smiling at her.

April nodded, but looked disappointed, her face long and drawn. "Don't you want your family to know that you're finally seeing someone", she said hopefully.

Jackson shook his head with a snort. "I don't have a family", he retorted, leaning back into the armchair. "My dad walked out on us years ago, my sisters are hot-shot surgeons all over the country and my mother-", he paused. "Well you know my mother".

April grinned knowingly and nodded, letting out a small giggle. She imagined Jackson's mother finding out. She'd never hear the end of it.

"I know, I know", she put her hand up in defeat. "But I at least want to tell my family. I want to share this with them".

Jackson frown slightly and shrugged his shoulders. "Ok". He didn't want to argue with her. Whatever she wanted.

"Don't worry", she spoke reassuringly. "I'm sure they'll love you!", taking his hand again, she squeezed it reassuringly.

Jackson's mind once again thought about Joe's fist making contact with his nose and he swallowed uncomfortably, flashing April an awkward smile.

…..

"How are you feeling?", Karen smiled at her daughter as she walked into the hospital room.

"I'm fine Mum!", April rolled her eyes. "Everything is fine!".

"Just checking!", Karen laughed, putting up her hands in mock surrender.

"It's fine", April spoke quietly.

"I want to apologies for before", Karen told her sheepishly. "Your father and I feel terrible for putting you on the spot like that".

"Thanks for apologising", April smiled tightly.

"But sweetie", she leaned forward, taking her hand gently. "It doesn't change how we feel. We would feel better knowing you're closer to home. We still dislike you being here".

"I know Mum", April nodded understandingly. "I understand. But I _can't _move away. Seattle is kinda like my new home. This is where I belong".

Karen sighed tensely, but nodded. "Ok", she whispered.

"I'm sorry", April pleaded. "I feel terrible. I hate putting you through this, but even after it all, I can't move".

"It's alright darling", Karen tucked a loose strand of hair behind her daughter's ear, with a gentle smile. "I guess it means your father and I can visit more".

April stopped herself from rolling her eyes and groaning. As much as she loved her parents, the thought of them visiting her regularly was enough to making her cry with anguish. She was thirty years old, she was a successful doctor. She was an adult.

"So who the guy", Karen questioned with a cheeky grin.

"What?", April exclaimed with a nervous squeak.

"I may be your mother April, but I wasn't born yesterday", Karen told her pointedly. "Something is keeping you here, and I'm thinking that something is a some_one_".

April cleared her throat uncertainly, avoiding meeting her mother's watchful glance. Even though she told Jackson she was eager to tell her parents, mulling it over alone, she got cold feet about the whole thing, anxious about their reactions.

"Cough him up darling", Karen pushed with a grin. "I want to know".

"He's just some guy", April whispered. "We're really good friends".

"Do we know him?", Karen implored. "Does he work here?".

"Mum!", April cried angrily, the anxiety reaching a boiling point. "Just leave it alone!".

Karen's grin immediately wiped from her face and she fell silent. She looked really upset and shocked at her daughter outburst.

"I'm sorry", April spoke gently. "I'm just so tired. I think I'm gonna have a nap".

"Ok", Karen replied numbly. "I'll come back later then", she didn't meet April's eyes, instead gathering her handbag and coat before leaving the room in a flurry.

April sighed heavily and settled back into her pillows, the guilt eating up her stomach. She hardly ever shouted at her mother. Closing her eyes, she eagerly allowed sleep to overcome her.

….

April awoke to the scent of coffee wafting around in the room. opening her eyes, she came face to face with a smiling Jackson.

"Hey sleepyhead", he greeted her warmly, kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Hi", she replied, stretching her arms out pleasantly.

"I bought coffee", he informed her, indicating to the two paper cups steaming on the table next to her.

"Yum", she smiled, reaching out and taking a small sip from her cup.

"Feeling alright?", Jackson spoke, sitting down on the bed next to her knees. She nodded and smiled.

"Physically yes", she shrugged. "But inside I feel like shit", her face went dark.

"Why?", he frowned. "What's happened?".

"I had a go at my mum", she explained shamefully. "I shouted at her and I feel so guilty about it", she rubbed her forehead.

"What did you say?", Jackson pressed, sipping his coffee.

"She was pushing the whole Indiana thing again", April told him. "Then she started asking whether I was seeing someone, like she assumed it was a guy keeping me here".

Jackson didn't speak, instead grinning happily, his bright eyes sparkling. He knew April was talking about him and it pleased him to know that her feelings were indeed strong.

"I know I said I was gonna tell them", April continued. "But I don't know what came over me. I got cold feet about the whole thing and went on the offensive about it. I just snapped and shouted at her to leave me alone".

"Oh Apes", Jackson comforted her, walking over and wrapping an arm around her shoulders tightly. He understood the impact of those words on April. She loved her parents with her entire heart and couldn't imagine being rude to them. he was right because April immediately started to sob frantically.

"I feel so bad", she cried into his chest. "I wish I could take it back".

"Shhh", Jackson comforted her, taking his other hand to gently caress her cheek, his thumb wiping away falling tears.

Part of him was immensely relieved that she'd decided to keep quiet about their relationship, but knowing that it cost April so much heartache made him think it wasn't worth keeping quiet about. He hated seeing her so upset, especially when she was on the road to recovery, she needed all the positivity she could get.

"She's your mum April", Jackson told her soothingly. "She'll forgive you no matter what. She loves you".

The crying redhead let out a few more quiet sobs before emerging from her hiding place in the nook of Jackson's arm. Nodding twice she sniffled, accepting the tissue her boyfriend handed her and wiping the tears welling in her eyes.

"I need to apologies", she stated. "Can you pass me my phone?".

Jackson handed her the phone and she speed dialled her mother, placing the receiver to her ear with an anxious expression.

It kept ringing and ringing. April couldn't help but scowl as the ringing continued. Finally, just before the number went to message bank, a female voice picked up.

"Mum?", April asked.

"April, its Kimmy", her sister sounded anxious. Almost tearful. "Thank god you've picked up".

"Kimmy?", April frowned.

"I don't know what to do!".

"Slow down", April instructed. "What are you on about? Where's mum?"

"April", her sister sobbed. "You've got to help me. Something is wrong with mum!"

April's trauma surgeon brain immediately kicked into drive. "What's happening? What does she look like?"

"I just walked into the hotel room" Kimmy explained flustered. "Dad is out doing some sovenier shopping. Wanted a good picture of the Space Needle. Mum didn't want to go, said she felt off". April's stomach flipped with guilt. "She's lying on the bed, she's looking right at me".

"So she's conscious?", April asked, her voice filling with relief.

"April", her older sister spoke gravely. "She can't talk. She's opening her mouth but all that's coming out is mumbling. Something is wrong with her _face_".

"What!"

"Only the right side of her lips are moving!".

"Oh my God!", April whispered.

"WHAT!", Kimmy exclaimed. "Tell me!"

"I think Mum had a stroke!".

…

**Please remember to review. Hope you enjoy. **


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